Take off your shoes, stay awhile.

Debbie Downer.

2011-04-10T17:53:00.002-07:00

Looking back at the last few things I posted, I couldn't help but notice how negative a lot of them are.

I don't want to only post when I'm being a Negative Nancy. Maybe writing a blog post whenever I was stressed out was an outlet for me, but still. I don't want to be like that.

I realized today in hindsight that I have had a weird couple of months. Not particularly "bad" or "dark" or "depressing," just weird. Weird and stressed. Not my best. But I guess that's normal, yeah? I've never really had anything more than "a bad week" or maybe a rare "bad month." So to go a few months in a row with a lot of stress and negativity was unfamiliar to me. It was even scary at times. To be honest, I really think the awful weather has had something to do with it. I am a human that needs sunshine.

I'm happy to report that I have pretty much pulled myself out of whatever funk I fell into. There is a light at the end of the tunnel as far as work goes, I have been taking more time to relax, and I was really productive today. I am even running again (I signed up for a half-marathon in August) and got up to 6 miles today for the first time since...I can't even remember. I'm reading for pleasure again too. I usually am only able to do that in the summertime, but I have been making time for it and I forgot how much I really do love to read. (I mean, I preach every single day to my kids about the importance of reading. I figured I should take my own advice).

Basically, I'm just taking better care of myself.

It sounds cheesy, but having a positive attitude changes everything. It truly does.

I guess I just wanted to write to make sure everyone doesn't think I'm a total downer these days. If only this sun would start shining, then I'll be back to normal....

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

2011-04-02T16:08:00.003-07:00

It's no secret that my motivation is dissipating at an alarming rate.

End-of-year testing is coming up (hello, pressure.), kids are acting crazy and naughty, the weather is toying with my emotions.

I don't know a more elegant way to phrase thefact that

I'M O-V-E-R IT.

All of it, everything.

Anything that requires me to use 50% or more of my brain power, I don'twanna.

At this point I'm literally just waiting for the daysto pass by, one by one. My traveling gene is beginning to itch. I'll be able to start scratching it soon.

At the end of the month I'll get to be here (first time for me since I've been 21 or older!)

In May I'll be here (another first for me)

And in July I'll be gallivanting around these parts

I just pray for the strength and sanity to last till then.

Yes please.

2011-03-25T09:24:00.003-07:00

Because I am in love with them . Enjoy.

After that, watch this other one.

chill pill

2011-03-13T17:49:00.002-07:00

"Type-A personality traits--the theory describes a Type A individual as ambitious, aggressive, business-like, controlling, highly competitive, impatient, preoccupied with his or her status, time-conscious, and tightly-wound. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving "workaholics" who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence."

I've always known I'm classified as Type A. I was also always the color red whenever we took color-personality tests in psychology classes. I know this; I accepted it long ago.

But lately, it's been really rearing its ugly head.

I had a minor mental breakdown (understatement) about two weeks ago at home. The kind where I started thinking about all the things I'm specifically concerned/stressed about and the list just went on and on and on.....Tears were out of control. Sobbing. I had the ugly cry--you know, the one where you can't breathe or get the words out. "I (gasp)...I (gasp).....I (gasp gasp gasp)...."

It was shocking and scary to actually acknowledge just how truly stressed out I was about lots of things. There was a variety of things causing me stress, but the majority of the stressors were work related--in a nutshell, I feel like I completely over-work myself at a pretty thankless job. I get frustrated when I don't see the fruits of my labor. And I think that I was too scared to admit that I'd been having a hard time dealing with all the extremely high expectations set for me by both the school district and myself.

I am my own worst critic. I am entirely too hard on myself.

So, I'm trying really hard to turn over a new leaf. I know I can't shed my Type A shell and transform into Type B overnight, or ever. But I am consciously trying to be easier on myself, breathe, and relax. It's a little hard for me; I'm not very good at that. I have to consciously fend off the feeling of always needing to be productive and adding more things to the mental to-do list.

Yesterday, instead of holing myself up in the library to grade papers, enter grades, and plan the school week, I went running in the park, took a nap, watched some TV, curled my hair, went to a game night, and played with my friends and laughed all night long.

Accomplished zero schoolwork.

It was incredible.

THAT is how I should be spending my Saturdays.

In the last week or two since I've started making better decisions for myself, I can already feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.

It's an interesting thing, learning to be easier on oneself.

Lightening up.

Learning to chill out.

Do only one task at a time.

I'm over being soType A, I want to see what it's like on the other side for a change.

Counting sheep.

2011-02-22T19:44:00.002-07:00

I tried to put up a picture for this post to describe my current struggle, but when I Google-Imaged "insomniac" the most terrifying images popped up. No thanks.

But seriously, I can't sleep. For the last month or so I've had the most difficult time trying to slip into unconsciousness. I just have so. many. thoughts. going through my head. It's really frustrating because I'll be sleepy and crawl into bed around 10:00 and realize it's 12:30 and I'm still not asleep.

My thoughts aren't particularly stressful or racing. They're just there. The human brain has an incredible capacity for useless pieces of information.

My thoughts will range from calculating money and paychecks to summer plans to a random scene from the last Sex and the City episode I watched. It's driving me nuts.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I've decided to give up TV shows for Lent. It doesn't start till March 9th, but I'm thinking ahead. I hate how much TV I watch--and I don't even have a TV. I watch it all online. I think it's rotting my brain a little and I feel guilty for not reading more. So I'll be trading in TV for books, which will be good for me. Any suggestions?

Welp. It's a sleeping pill and "meditation" tea for dinner for me. :) Wish me luck and sweet dreams....actually, I hope I sleep hard enough that I completely surpass the dream state. I want pure, sweet, dark, unconsciousness.

Dummm, dummm dee-dumm.....dummm, DUMMM dee-dum....

2011-02-20T22:04:00.004-07:00

Yeah it's a little overdue, but better late than never, eh?

Big fat news: My seester got engaged about a week ago. I'm very happy for her, although it's a strange happiness I've never experienced before. It's totally foreign to me. See, I've had many (MANY) a friend/acquaintance/roommate/former classmate get engaged and it's always been exciting, but not this kind. This is a different flavor of excitement. My sister is the first one in our generation of cousins and everyone to be engaged. The first of my own flesh and blood. It's crazy, and I feel as though I've entered this whole new realm of excitement, happiness, and even some clarity--kinda like, "Ooohh! NOW I get why everyone was so excited about all those other engagements in the past..." When you're family-close with someone it's a totally different level.

It still feels weird to say my sister is getting married. I represent 25% of the bridesmaids, and I have no doubt my Type A personality will come roaring through, taking over things and helping with the planning. Plus I have the most experience as a wedding-attendee. (Let's be honest, I've seen enough weddings to know what looks tacky).

It must be a strange feeling to know you're with the person you're going to have a family with. I can't imagine the amount of clarity I'll have when I get engaged myself someday.

I'm thrilled that I'll get to be an aunt before I have to be a parent. I love the idea of having little nieces and nephews that I can just have fun and play with and hand back to their mom and dad when they get cranky. But let's not get too ahead of ourselves.

I'd like to take some responsibility in the happy couple finding one another. Although they randomly met years ago when he interviewed her for a job in Salt Lake (long story short, she didn't end up moving down), they REALLY met at my Halloween party in 2009. Who would've thought the gypsy (Anna) would've fallen in love with the man wearing an inflatable sumo suit with a hot pink tank top and metallic gold skirt (Nik)? Sigh. So romantic. A match made in heaven.

Congratulations guys, I can't wait for the wedding!

greener grass.

2011-02-05T20:31:00.003-07:00

Why is it that, after living a few years in one place, I find every city other than my own so appealing?

Lately I've been thinking about where I'll be in the next few years. I'm not sure how many more years I see myself staying here in the good old SLC.

Not to say that I don't like it here. At this very moment, I still like Salt Lake very much. I've grown quite comfortable here and enjoy a lot about it. It's been a great two years to say the least.

But I know myself, and I know that I'm likely to grow antsy after 3-4 years of staying in one place.

In all honesty, I've totally been getting ahead of myself and looking a bit too far into my own future. I acknowledge that I have a fear of getting to the end of my life (or maybe even just the middle of my life) and realizing that I didn't take enough risks or have enough adventures. I just don't really like the thought of settling down permanently in Salt Lake City knowing that I never left to really live on my own somewhere else.

I know I've done the nanny thing (which has been amazing for me) and it's given me a little taste of living other places in the country. But it's very temporary, and it's not me living on my own. It's me living in someone else's house.

I wouldn't mind coming back and settling in SLC whenever I decide to start a family because it's really important to me that my future hypothetical children are close to their family and know their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

But it just makes me think how now (not "now" as in right this minute, but "now" as in the next few years) would be a great time to try living somewhere else for a change. No kids, no mortgage.

I won't lie, I just Googled the best cities for young professionals. (Coincidentally, Salt Lake City made it onto a few lists. It was referenced as a "cheaper version of Denver"). But the same city that keeps popping up on every list is Austin, Texas.

I never used to consider moving anywhere in the south, but from what I've read, it sounds kind of great. It's a young city with a relatively low cost of living. They are known for their amazing live music and nightlife. I may or may not have peeked at what an elementary teacher's average salary is.......if I moved there today, I'd make the amount equivalent to what I'll make when I've taught for 9 years in Utah.

Just something to think about, I guess.

twentysomething

2011-01-22T16:12:00.004-07:00

So I turned 24. A while ago, actually. On the 11th. This whole time I've been trying to see it as "the last year of my early twenties" but as it turns out (according to my roommates), I'm actually now in my mid-twenties, if you split it up evenly. Womp, womp. So I just prefer the term "twentysomething."

I know I'm still young and I'm not TOO freaked out (yet). I'll probably freak out when I'm 30. I guess I just never really pictured myself being 24 or what I'd be doing with my life. This is all unchartered territory.

Birthdays are funny because I will get happy birthday wishes from people I haven't spoken to for months or even years (thanks, facebook notifications!), and on the other hand I won't hear from people I consider relatively close to me.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like there's a hierarchy of birthday wishes based on your degree of friendship with people, thanks to technology. The levels range from old acquaintances up to best friends and family, filled with others in between.

The bottom level is a wish via facebook wall post. (These are friends but also people I haven't seen since high school)

I'd say the next level up is the happy birthday text message. (Friends that are close enough to have my phone number, but only use it for texting)

Then comes the happy-birthday card sent by real mail. (People close enough to know my home address)

Above that is the happy-birthday phone call and conversation. (Close friends and family that have the number and take the time to say happy birthday with their own voice)

And the top level is the real life, flesh-and-blood human interaction happy birthday dinner and celebration. (Besties and immediate family)

I only have one picture from that night. Anne took this picture before the ladies took me to a delicious birthday sushi dinner. :)

Age is just a number. You're as young as you feel. Here's to another year young!

TwoThousandEleven

2011-01-06T19:56:00.005-07:00

Welp. Goodbye, 2010. It was quite a ride. Lots of really great things were experienced in that year. Finished my first year teaching without quitting early (as tempting as it seemed at times), left my dear continent North America for the first time, moved, and laughed way more than I cried. A very solid year indeed. I remember by far more positive things than negative, which is always great.

We threw a New Year's party at my house which was wild. Not as epic as last Halloween (thank goodness), but a good time was had by all.

As for resolutions? I usually think they classify more as "wishful thoughts." But who knows? They might actually last past February.

This year I made my resolutions to be more concrete so that I can either say YES I did it or NO sorry I didn't.

In 2011, I would like to

-save X amount of money by the end of the school year

-run the Top of Utah Half Marathon in September (begin training after school gets out)

-take another trip (probably within the U.S. of A. because I can't afford international this time)

-buy a Subaru at the end of the year so I can drive in the snow without fearing for my life

Not too shabby. Not too ambitious. Not too vague. I like it.

I like thinking back to this time lastyear, and how I had no clue the people and experiences that I would encounter later on in 2010.

I love that I have NO IDEA what 2011 has up its sleeve.

I never post pictures because I never take pictures anymore.

The bad news: I think I ruined my camera at our party. Okay fine, I'm 95% sure I ruined my camera at our party. The screen is all jacked with yellow lines. Big fat frowny face :(

{Note to self} Don't wear your camera around your arm and then go wash your hands. The camera WILL slide down into the stream of water, causing an outpour of loud, involuntary profanities to escape your lips .

The good news: I had taken some cute pictures before the camera died! Here are a few survivors for your enjoyment. Peace.

If I eat any more treats...

2010-12-26T10:55:00.003-07:00

....I'm going to explode. I've already slipped into one food-induced coma and I'm sure it won't be my last.

Christmas has been wonderful as always. It always goes so fast. See, I don't have any extended family members here. It's just my parents and sisters (and the dogs who, by the way, rake in a surprising amount of loot each Christmas). So Christmas usually consists of opening all our presents while simultaneously eating cinnamon rolls, and then being lazy and staying in pajamas all day long.

Other people I know that have TONS of family are running around, trying to evenly split their time (and children) between both sides of the family. I'm glad I don't have to do that yet. I'm glad for the simplicity of making the 45 minute drive to my parents' house, plopping my stuff down in my old bedroom, and roosting for 3 days straight.

It's funny how as each year passes, our Christmas wish-list items change. Item #4 in 1993 used to be a Barbie Magic Mirror that talks; in 2000 it was Mary-Kate and Ashley glittery watermelon flavored lipgloss; in 2007 it was decent snowboots and an ice-scraper for my car.

This year I didn't want anything particularly practical, I wanted things I want but feel guilty buying. (more boots, perfume, gift cards to go shopping, etc.)

I know that Thanksgiving is usually the major holiday to reflect on all the things you have, but I always feel very blessed around Christmastime too. I have everything I need--I've always had everything I've ever needed. Each year we pick a few angels off the Angel Tree to buy presents for. This year I learned that one of my students is on the tree. It really hit close to home when I could put a face with a name. It made it very real. And, once again, managed to keep me grounded with a real perspective on things.

I think I might go eat some more funeral potatoes and pass out by the fireplace. Again.

Happy Holidays -- I hope you spent real quality time with the people that you love.

Can't. Move. A muscle.

2010-12-05T11:10:00.003-07:00

Soooo at my new gym (24 Hour Fitness) I got a free 50-minute consultation with a fitness guy. We got to talking about goals, nutrition, strength training, yadda yadda yadda....next thing I know I've signed up for some sessions with a personal trainer.

Ha! Personal trainer? Sounds kinda pretentious. He's a body-builder, kinda looks like this:

Anyway, I had my first session yesterday and it was actually really fun. He kicked my ass a little, which is what I need. I miss having a coach like I did in high school, telling me what I need to do. I'm also actually learning a lot about what's going on inside my body when I'm exercising.

It's not like I'm trying to lose a bunch of weight or anything. I just would like to get back into good shape like I used to be. I've half-assed working out for the last year and kinda just need some motivation in my life.

Needless to say, I woke up this morning and can't really move. My muscles are totally sore ALL OVER. I've never needed a massage more in my life, and I've really only moved between my bedroom, the kitchen, and living room.

Hope I survive the rest of the sessions.

Viernes Negro (Black Friday for all you non-Espanol speakers)

2010-11-28T17:48:00.002-07:00

I disagree with a lot of things. Particularly, Black Friday. Let's face it, I'm just not built for it.

I don't have the ENERGY to wake up at any single-digit hour--especially after a delicious food coma.

I don't have the ATHLETIC BUILD/STRENGTH to fight off opponents in big crowds (or any decent helmet or pads to wear).

I don't have the PATIENCE to stand in ridiculous lines.

I don't have the NEED for any big-ticket items like plasma screen TVs and video gaming systems.

And--perhaps the deal breaker of them all--I don't have the DESIRE to participate in any of it.

I know some people do it as a bonding thing with their family members, and that's cool. I also get that there are some pretty good deals on big hot items like electronics and popular children's toys; I just don't need any of those things.

I guess the real reason I have a problem with Black Friday is this: We first celebrate this wonderful Thanksgiving holiday where we reflect on all the blessings we have, show gratitude for the most basic things that we often take for granted, relish in the happy relationships we have and feel humbled. It's so warm and fuzzy.

Then literally overnight, it all changes. People are instantly focused on gifts, material things, competition, saving money, spending money, getting the last item before that other person lays a hand on it, presents, presents, PRESENTS! Kinda makes me sick.

Black Friday just brings the worst out in people. They have their eyes on the prize and forget their manners along the way. In 2008 a worker at a WalMart got trampled to death on Black Friday by the chaotic crowd of shoppers. Sickening! I hope your Tickle-Me-Elmo or Grand Theft Auto was worth this poor guy's life.

For those readers who religious, the holiday season is a time to reflect on major people/events that play important roles around which you base your faith. For those who aren't religious, the holiday season is still an important time to cherish the special people in your life, show them your love and gratitude, and spend quality time with them. You know, the kinda things that are bigger than toys and... things.

Now don't get me wrong--I love giving and receiving gifts during this time of year. I will be out shopping for gifts throughout the month for those that I love (and maybe getting a few for me...), but I'd like to think that I'll be doing it with a happy heart and at a reasonable pace. I'd like to think there won't be malice, competition, or stress involved.

Blah, blah, blah, off my soapbox now.

Happy Holidays and drive safe. :)

Issues.

2010-11-14T09:31:00.002-07:00

I've never considered myself to be one with relationship or commitment issues. Sure, I've always wanted to get married when I "grow up" and have kids and blah blah blah. But lately, I'm having some self-realization of the honest fear I have when it comes to the idea of marriage.

Yesterday I was looking at my parents' wedding pictures (so cute) and I was just astonished that they were 24 and 25 years old. I'm approaching 24 in January, and I am no where NEAR getting married. I literally don't even have a crush on anybody at the moment.

The idea of being with ONE person for the rest of your life is such a permanent decision. How do you date someone and know without a doubt that THIS is the person you want to revolve your entire life around and raise kids with (if you decide to have children)?

I am approaching my mid-twenties and I still feel so young and little, how could I possibly make such a decision?

It's not even that I'm itching to get married soon, or that I feel like I'm on a time crunch of any sort. That's not the case at all. I don't mind when I get married. It's this idea I have of the amount of pressure riding on that decision, no matter when you make it.

But then again, look at where I've grown up. This isn't the real world. This is Utah. The culture I'm immersed in highly encourages marriage and babies from the moment one graduates high school. Marriage has been talked about and happening constantly all through my college years and has made itself a norm. Almost all my friends from high school (guys and girls alike) are married and having kids.......or getting divorced.

That's what really scares me and makes me sad. I found out recently that yet another person I know is a 23-year-old divorcee. I could probably name at LEAST 12 people I know that are my age and already divorced. Talk about scary. No one gets married expecting for it to end a year or two later.

Now, I must acknowledge that a lot of those divorces came from the people involved getting married just for the sake of getting married. Deciding it was the "right time" and not necessarily the right person--which I would never do. So I must take that into account.

I was talking to my mom about all this and came to the optimistic conclusion that although the idea of this type of commitment is indeed a bit terrifying for me, it will suddenly be much easier to comprehend when there's an actual person to make this commitment to. Right now it's just this huge...idea. So hopefully whenever that happens, I'll have a completely new understanding of this scary concept.

I'm just happy that my social circle is completely filled with 24-27 year old singles to remind me that it's normal.

Awake from the dead...

2010-11-11T19:10:00.003-07:00

First post in 2 months.

I know I could post about a hundred "more important" things.

But.....all I can think about is how fly my girl Emma looks.

Perspective.

2010-09-16T20:30:00.004-07:00

If there's one thing that I know I can always count on from my job, it's this: I always, ALWAYS go home with a new perspective on life.

I don't consider myself much of a drama queen, but I do get wrapped up in my own life sometimes.

Maybe I bitch and moan about how hard I work for not very much money.

Maybe I get crabby and emotional and vent to my friends about stupid boys.

Maybe I complain about money I have to spend on filling my car with gas or how much groceries cost.

Maybe I roll my eyes at all the dirty laundry I still have to do among a whole endless to-do list.

But there are always moments and days that truly open my eyes and make me say, "Wow....I really don't have problems. I kind of have everything going for me, actually."

Earlier this week I got some really horrific news. One of our school's students from last year died this summer. A girl in kindergarten. Her mother beat her to death.

When I heard the news, I had a small meltdown and didn't stop crying. All evening I was a bit of a wreck, continuing the cycle of crying, collecting myself, crying some more, collecting myself.

She wasn't my student. But I probably saw her every day. Their classroom is just down the hall from mine. It just hit way too close to home. I know I hear about these types of things on the news, but never dream about them happening to anyone remotely connected to me.

So let's take a look back at the things I was complaining about earlier in a new perspective:

Working too hard for too little money? At least I have a steady job.

Emotional about stupid boys? At least I have amazing friends to vent to.

Spending money on gas and groceries? At least I have a car and food in my fridge every day.

Having too much dirty laundry to attend to? At least I have a closet full of clothes.

Not to mention the fact that I grew up in a wonderful family my whole life, with parents who love and care for me unconditionally.

Some days really open my eyes up to reality.

I don't have problems. I really don't.

I feel so lucky to have a job that humbles me every day.

Just something to think about, I guess.

Without pictures, I feel dull.

2010-09-14T20:13:00.003-07:00

I suppose I should start taking pictures to prove that I'm actually alive and well. One of these days I'll remember to grab my camera on the way out the door to some wild adventure.

As far as school goes, all is well. All is fantastic, actually (if I'm going to be completely honest). My class is so good. And what a beautiful class, I'm serious. Kids of all different races and backgrounds fill the desks. I can look at one table and see blond hair/blue eyes American sitting next to Brazilian sitting next to Somalian sitting next to Chinese sitting next to Latino sitting next to Thai. It is one of the best things about my class.

(not my actual students, haha. but pretty much)

Not to mention they are very quiet. I mean, REALLY quiet. Almost eerily quiet. It goes beyond just being well-behaved--almost borders on awkward. I swear to god we were playing dodgeball in PE in near silence. All I heard were the sounds of feet pitter-pattering and balls being hucked. I told them, "You guys can yell at each other! Cheer on your team! THIS IS P.E.!!"

But they really are a great, great group of children. They think I'm funny. Plus I feel like a CHAMPION having one year under my belt already. Not that I'm a master teacher yet by any stretch of the imagination, but I just don't feel as STRESSED as I did last year. I've just figured out what deserves to be stressed over and what can be shrugged off. And let me tell you it feels grrrreat.

So basically just plugging along, working hard during the week and playing hard on the weekends. (Football season, yeeeeah! I have more pride for the Utes team than I ever had for the Aggies....sorry.)

If something interesting happens to me, I'll blog.

Pyrate Lyfe is my Lyfe

2010-09-12T12:17:00.001-07:00

What type of movies do pirates like?

Ones that are rated RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

2010-09-06T19:55:00.004-07:00

....I know I haven't blogged in a million years.

Welp, I made it back safe and sound from the good old east coast. Back into the swing of things with teaching 3rd grade--I already feel so much more confident having the first year under my belt. I'm still procrastinating just as much as before, but hey. Baby steps, right?

Loving life with the new roommate and Salt Lake friends. I went to Zion for the first time and FELL IN LOVE with the place. Can't believe I've never been before. Absolutely breathtaking.

Today I hit up SNIAGRAB, the giant Sports Authority sale where all of last season's ski and snowboard stuff goes on mayja sale so I bought some new ski boots (beauties) and a CamelBak for the next time I hike through national parks (because there WILL be more 'next times' after my love affair with Zion). Look at me, all outdoorsy. How did this happen?

I guess that's the updates for now. Pretty standard stuff. I'm not engaged, married, or pregnant. Not dating anyone really. Which is kind of my segue (I wanted to spell that "segway" but apparently that's not how you spell it. I hate the real spelling of that word) into my small topic of this post.

I've been discussing this with my lady friends lately because it's a phenomenon we've all seemed to deal with in recent times. We have all found ourselves going out with guys and ending up saying, "He's just such a great guy, I really wish I liked him!"

"Great guy." I feel like I've used that term SO MUCH lately. These are the guys that sound excellent on paper and when describing them to your friends, but for some reason there's just that something missing. That X factor. Never mind the fact that he's pretty attractive, can carry on a good conversation, is really nice and pretty funny, knows what he's doing with his life and is a gentleman with interesting stories. You know, a great guy.

But the X factor isn't there. The instant connection you just feel with some people. I have really only had it with 2 people in my dating life, so I know that it exists. And now I can't settle for less than that because I know what it feels like to have the X factor (and it's amazing).

I really WISH I liked the great guys. It would be so convenient and make sense, right? But instead, it fizzles and fades after a couple of dates.

Some people may say that I should give the great guys more of a chance. But I disagree. If I don't feel the 'something' with someone after a few dates, why should I continue wasting their time (and mine)? I don't mean to be picky.

But let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way ready or wanting to get married anytime soon, but I'm approaching my mid-twenties. This is the age when a lot of people start thinking a little more seriously about their dating situation (or in my case of living in Utah, most girls are already married and starting to think about having kids). I can't really just date around for pure aimless fun anymore. (I mean, I guess I could, but I don't want to).

I'm not on the prowl for a husband. But I guess the thought of "Could you picture yourself with this guy a few years down the road?" is ever so slowly emerging from the back of my mind from time to time.

To be completely honest, I am so busy and consumed with work that I don't even really have time to date anyone. This has just been a subject that's been brought up among my friends lately and I thought I'd blog about it.

That's all.

Almost home.

2010-08-03T18:53:00.002-07:00

I will be home in one week from tomorrow.

This makes me very happy.

I don't feel as homesick as I did awhile ago. Probably just because I know I'll see them all very soon.

Also, it helps that I met a few new people and spent an amazing weekend laughing, boating, eating, and smiling.

Not to get all cheesy BUT......

I think my first two summers here were more about realizing the importance and joy of finding independence. And this summer, I feel like I've already established that feeling of independence so my focus has really been toward the importance of friendships in my life.

I'm a firm believer that friends come at different times in my life for different reasons, and they all serve a purpose.

I know that I have

Party friends and acquaintances: these are the fun-loving, outgoing people that I let loose with and laugh hard with. When I'm with them I am fun, relaxed, happy, not stressed, smiling. Most hilarious memories are usually created with these people.

More serious friends: these are the friends that give me solid advice on real dilemmas or issues I'm facing, and we have more in common than a favorite bar downtown. We may not go out and socialize together, but we can talk (and vent) about things like work, money, relationships, or any other real-life stressor.

Old friends: these are the friends from high school and college that I've drifted apart from over the years due to real-life things like going to different schools, getting married, moving out of state, etc. We don't see each other or talk on the phone a whole lot anymore. But with old friends, there's loyalty. And there's history. I can always count on rehashing favorite old memories from when we were younger, and feeling younger when I'm with them. Nostalgia.

Seasonal friends: these are friends that I only see during certain parts of the year, for whatever reason. Examples: friends from football season that I really only see tailgating and at the games. My Maryland friends that I only see in the summer time when I come back east. My Utah State friends and girls in my program that I reunited with every fall when I saw them up on campus after being home all summer.

Friends with a random common interest: these are friends that I am not close with or may not even know much about them, but we have an inside joke or common interest. For example, an old acquaintance from work that I know loves Project Runway as much as I do. We won't talk for months or really have any REAL conversation, but we'll send the occasional "Oh my gosh, tell me you watched last night's episode!" text. Same goes with funny picture messages with inside jokes to people you haven't spoken to in a long time.

Best friends: the rare few who I feel truly know the "real me." They encompass all the very best parts of the "friend categories". With them I am happy, safe, honest...myself.

There's probably a hundred more subcategories of friends that I could list, but you get the gist.

Friends are great.

Friends keep me sane.

Friends come out of nowhere.

Friends drift away.

Friends will continue to pop up all through your life.

Friends are waiting with open arms for me to come home.

See you next Wednesday!!

Homesick.

2010-07-22T06:28:00.012-07:00

I've never really experienced true homesickness before until now. I don't know why, either. I wasn't even homesick my first summer that I left home to live back east. This is my third time doing this, I should be used to it by now!

Maybe that's the problem--I'm used to it. There's no more thrill of leaving my hometown for the first time. The sparkle of the new city is gone because it's no longer new. All my best friends are back home together and I miss them SO much more than I expected to.

I think it's because I'm not super-busy out here this time. My only girlfriend out here, Jess, isn't around a lot because she's been on family vacations and visits home frequently (Philadelphia is only 3 hours from here). So I have a lot of time on my own.

I guess I should see it as a good thing (how much I miss home, that is). It shows how happy I really am in Salt Lake City, and that it's filled with so many fantastic people and places. If I miss it this much, it must be a wonderful place. It's nice to know that I have a very happy home to return to in three weeks (technically 20 days).

Funny how it takes leaving people/places to realize the special spot they have in your heart and how important they really are to you.

Miscellaneous things I can't wait to do when I get back:

See these faces

Eat here (caprese salad and two rolls, please)

Catch the last couple of these

Sleep on my bed made of this (minus that creepy hand)

Wear her like a scarf (despite her protests)

Hug all these people and give them their souvenirs from Greece

See you in a few weeks!

I miss her.

2010-07-07T14:01:00.003-07:00

Text from the other night:

"Welcome back to the mother land! I just wanted to tell you that I had a cracked out dream last night where we were kidnapped so our bodies could be harvested for human meat that this really rich guy wanted and he drove a batman car and Vince Vaughn was kidnapped with us and was our buddy. The end. I love you."

--Holly

No matter what country you visit, you will always hear Michael Jackson playing somewhere.

2010-07-04T07:05:00.014-07:00

Warning: this is a long post. I won't be offended if you don't have the energy to read it all in one sitting. Feel free to take a break and come back to it when you're rested up.

GREECE

Greece was amazing. We got to visit

ATHENS

NAXOS

SANTORINI

and CRETE

(I guess this is like the only picture I took in Crete, haha)

I truly can't put into words just how breathtaking the country is. I felt like I was standing right in the computer screen when I Google Image 'Santorini'. Every morning I woke up, made a cup of coffee, and stood on the deck overlooking the Aegean Sea and all the neighboring villages of white buildings and blue domes. I've never felt so luxurious in my whole life.

Our days were filled with going to the beach, shopping, eating authentic Greek food, and driving our tiny rental car on tiny streets all over the island.

I also LOVED anytime I heard live Greek music playing. Sometimes they'd play it in a restaurant, on the beachfront, or in the middle of a shopping plaza.

(This is where I tried to upload a video of these Greek guys playing their music and singing in the middle of a shopping area, but Blogger just refuses to let it post successfully. Damn.)

Even though most of our time was spent in a touristy area, it was neat being surrounded by another culture that I was unfamiliar with. The people in Greece LOVE children. I repeat, they absolutely adore children. Everywhere we went, people paid attention to Chase (5 years old). They pat his head, lift him up high in the air, kiss his hand, give him candy, call him "beautiful boy", or show affection in some other form. It was really interesting to see how much these Greek people appreciate and value the youth.

Something else that interested me were the really traditional Greek women. When their husband passes away, the woman wears all black clothing every day for the rest of her life, to show that she's in mourning. (I wish there was a tactful way for me to snap a picture of these women I saw all over, but since I don't have a big fancy camera I couldn't really act like I'm a very serious photographer or anything).

I was able to see and do a lot, eat delicious meals, and get souvenirs/take pictures to remember it all. I am forever grateful for this family giving me this opportunity to see a part of the world I might not otherwise ever be able to experience.

As the adventure wrapped up, we had to prepare to end our vacation-mode state of mind and travel back to the states. We were taking two separate journeys back: the family on one set of flights, and me following suit a day after them.

Despite my loving mother's worry and concern about me spending a few days by myself in Athens and London during my trek back to the U.S. of A., I was so, so excited to travel by myself. First of all, I was ready to have some alone time after spending every hour of every day with the same people for 2 weeks. And next, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. That I could very briefly stay by myself halfway across the world without knowing anybody and survive.

I told my dad that traveling internationally by myself was like my grown-up version of tying my shoes for the first time. It's a small thing that would help me gain some independence and sense of accomplishment (shout-out to my Pop for expressing full confidence in me the whole time!).

Everything worked out beautifully. I successfully stayed in Athens, made my way to London, navigated my way from Heathrow Airport to the Underground to a taxi to my inn (which is really just a great little pub that also has 6 rooms upstairs for people to stay in. SO cute. Plus I only had to go downstairs for dinner!). Arranged my taxi the next day, retraced my steps back to the airport, and flew back into the United States. Flawless! Didn't miss any connections, didn't get lost, didn't get kidnapped/robbed/whatever else my poor mother imagined.

It was only two days (or 3, if you calculate all the time zone changes), but it was enough to make me feel capable of something I'd never done before. I also realized how kind people are, and willing to help. In Athens, a young guy named Versellis took me under his wing. He worked at my hotel and he offered to take me around town since I was there for the day by myself. We went to the Acropolis (awe-inspiring), the museum, and got dinner. In London, the bartender was really helpful, asked to make sure I had a cab arranged, and gave me a free cup of coffee in the morning while I waited for my taxi to come. Anyone I asked a question to in the airport was very pleasant as well. People are just so great! I also had some great plane conversations with the people I sat next to on all my connecting flights.

As spectacular as vacation is, I always get a great feeling when I realize I'm home. When I flew into Washington DC, there was a big smile on my face to be back in a place I'm familiar with and love. I always get the same feeling when I come home to Salt Lake in August after being away all summer. That "Hey...I remember all this!" feeling.

Taking this trip has given me such an itch to travel now. So many of my friends have taken great adventures. My friend Cohen has lived in Brazil, Paris, and is now heading to Italy. Chelsea has gallivanted all around Europe, Annie has spent time in South Korea and India. Everybody I know that travels has such positive experiences and I can tell it's going to be addicting. It's my goal to save up my money over the upcoming year and go on another adventure next summer.

Traveling is fantastic. People are fantastic. Home is fantastic. Life is fantastic.

The end.

My 2nd home.

2010-06-11T16:49:00.005-07:00

I'm back in the (301) at long last. Some things have totally changed -- they re-did the kitchen, the oldest child is now taller than me with a deeper voice, the youngest child's speech has developed a lot and our conversations are slightly more complex than deciding what we're eating for lunch, and there's a new Golden Retriever puppy to play with.

But for the most part, things have stayed exactly the same. The weather, my room, all the kids and parents at the baseball games/team parties/community pool. Same shitty cell phone reception. It's like I haven't missed a beat. It's been just about 48 hours since I arrived and already I'm completely in the groove of things, totally in my element. Love it.

We leave Tuesdee for Greece and I can't WAIT! Now that I'm actually here in MD and my brain can wrap itself around that, the last big event to tackle is this trip. I'm so so so lucky to be riding the coattails of this family across the world. I could not (and probably won't ever) be able to afford a trip like this on my own so I am eternally grateful to them for this opportunity.

One of my life's goals is to see as many countries as I can and I feel like I'm getting a big head start.

Feels good to be back. These guys are great. And it's going to be an awesome summer. Although.... I do miss all my besties back home. There's definitely something to be said about spending all summer with your best friends and I do feel like I'm missing out on that aspect. But I know I'll be back before I know it and just like everything else, we'll pick up right where we left off.

Welp, I'm off. It's my first Friday night here and I'm going to spend a wild night watching episodes of Lost on my computer in my room. WoooOooOoOOOoo! (My friend Jess is coming out tomorrow to visit so we'll make THAT our night out on the town).

Hope you're all enjoying your summer.

Post Overload. Scroll down at your leisure.

2010-06-07T10:45:00.003-07:00

Anne hacked into the one below this. But she still speaks the truth, nonetheless.

I guess I just have a lot on my mind lately. Each day I think, "Oh, I should blog that." and then never do. Hence, the overload. My bad.

I'm officially free and enjoying summer. I leave in a few days to go back to these guys

I kind of wish I had a few more days here in Salt Lake before taking off. It would be really nice to wake up and just have the entire day with no major plans or anything I HAVE to do. But since I only have about 4 days between my last day of teaching and taking off the runway, I'm cramming in quality time with everyone I love.

It makes me very grateful for the people I have in my life. How lucky I am to have so many people to see before I leave! My days have been filled with lunches, Bees games, and house parties. Makes me happy that the summer is only temporary and I have all these faces to come back to.

Going out to nanny in Maryland is one of the best decisions I've ever made. It gives me an opportunity to travel and a change of scenery. I feel like my independence has grown tenfold from flying out there that first time all by myself. I've made great friends, I've gotten to see everything there is to see in Washington, DC, I've learned how to navigate my way around using public transportation. And now, this summer I get to tag along to Greece for a once-in-a-lifetime trip I know I'll never forget.

One of my favorite parts about going back east in the summer is that I always feel like I come back with a new perspective. I feel like I know myself a little better and I return to Utah feeling rejuvenated.

Plus I feel like I always have more to blog about when I'm out there. :)

My hero.

2010-06-07T10:39:00.001-07:00

I l.u.v. Anne.

Schooooool's OUT. For. The SUMMER!

2010-06-07T09:25:00.006-07:00

Welp, I did it. Just a warning, this post is going to be a sappy one about my first year teaching. For people that aren't teachers, it might not be that interesting so I won't be offended if you skip it. :)

With that being said.....

I can't believe I have successfully completed Year One of my career. It definitely doesn't feel real yet. I'm sure it will probably seem like a reality in a few days when I don't have to go back to work, but right now it just feels like a long weekend.

The last day was strange. You remember that feeling you had as a kid on the last day of school? Kind of antsy and excited, but a tiny bit sad? I had no idea all those years that the teacher had the exact same feeling.

A little girl brought me a flower she planted in a pot that she painted and gave me two cards--one from her, one from her mother. (Her mother has been the only mom involved in our class this school year, coming and doing art projects and activities with the kids. We've gotten pretty close this year).

I read the note the mother wrote me during recess while the kids were outside and I just broke down and started crying at my desk (hoping no one would walk in unexpectedly). The card was just SO NICE. She thanked me for everything and really made me feel like I made a difference with her daughter. Words of kindness and gratitude like that made the whole year worth it. Worth all the time, stress, planning, etc. To know that at least one person recognizes the effort and energy you've put into running a successful classroom is a feeling I can't really describe. It's like I feel just as much gratitude for HER just for acknowledging my efforts, you know?

Anyway, I thought I'd cry on my last day with the kids but really the end of the day was just rushed. We were all signing each other's autograph books (they don't do yearbooks at my school) and before I knew it, there were only 5 minutes left. So I rushed to get pictures, but then my camera died. The girl's mom was there to help though (luckily) and she took some more that she'll email to me (again, very grateful for this woman). Then the last bell rang, and all the students gave me hugs as they ran out the door.

Truth be told, I could write an entire book on all the things I'll do differently next year. But all in all, I feel like I had a great first year. I was blessed with a really good group of kids and only had to deal with mild behavior problems (except for a 2-month period at the beginning of the year with one particular child....but that child moved so I try to repress those times). I feel like I learned a LOT. I learned a lot about myself, about the kids and where they come from, and about teaching in general. I could make a list of all the significant things I learned but it would take so long to scroll down through all of them, so I'll write those in a separate place.

Although working in a Title I school (a low-income school) comes with some problems that other schools don't have, I really feel like this is where I belong. I love the diversity of my school--not just with the students but also with the faculty. I truly do feel like I make a difference with a lot of these kids. So many of them are coming from ridiculously rough and heartbreaking situations, and I know that school is the best thing they have going on in their lives right now. I love that they love school (the vast majority of my students would cry "NOOOO!" whenever I'd make comments about them not having school anymore and being in 4th grade next year). I just feel like this is where I belong.

I can't believe my little babies are 4th graders now. They first walked in to my class as these timid little fresh-outta-2nd-graders and were sooo needy. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I was going to enjoy teaching 3rd grade for the first month or so of my job. But over time I saw them learning things they didn't know before, and becoming more and more independent. By then end of the year, they had completely transformed. 3rd grade fits me more than I ever thought possible.

Some of them I'll see around next year, but the nature of our school is extremely transient. Kids move from school to school all the time. We had countless move-ins and move-outs this year. Our class picture we received in January hardly reflects the class we had by the end of the year. It breaks my heart that there are some students I'll never see again.

I will miss them all dearly.

BUT......I am more than ready for my 12 weeks off! :)

Happy Summer, everybody.

PRIDE.

2010-06-07T09:07:00.005-07:00

Yesterday was a first for me. I went with Anne down to the Gay Pride Parade in downtown Salt Lake. It's part of the whole weekend-long festival that's been going on and it was sooo fun! At first I got really frustrated because we couldn't find a parking spot ANYWHERE. We drove around for about 20 or 25 minutes looking for a place to park and eventually decided to park at Einstein's and walk a few blocks down (we bought a drink, so we were legit customers and didn't feel bad about leaving my car there).

But then it dawned on me how great it is that I couldn't find a parking spot anywhere. It means that there were THAT many people out at the parade supporting all the people walking in it. My heart got so happy when we turned the corner and saw the thousands of people lining the streets cheering for everyone in the parade.

It made me so happy to be living in the city where I live. I love how the people of Salt Lake embraced and celebrated the diversity. It makes me feel like people are finally getting more and more open-minded and accepting of others, and what could be better than that?

The parade itself was so entertaining! Annie and I got a good spot in the shade and saw all kinds of floats and people from all walks of life marching down State Street. Afterwards, we started wandering the streets down toward the festival in the park so Anne could take some pictures.

There we were, standing on a street corner by the Tavernacle, surrounded by thousands of people in a sea of rainbow. Then, just like in the movies, the crowd parted and I saw my friend Josh who I haven't seen in years. I yelled his name and he was just as shocked to see us. It was such a great little reunion and we caught up on life a little bit as we walked around downtown. It was so good to see him, and it just reminds me how funny life is. You just never know when you might run into someone you thought you'd never see again on a crowded street corner. People always have a way of popping up unexpectedly. I like that.

Anyway, I loved going to see the parade and supporting all those brave people for marching. Can't wait to go again next year!

Can't. Stop.

2010-05-23T10:23:00.002-07:00

I can't stop eating these.

My new favorite treat.

Anna's Ginger Thins.

A delicious Swedish cookie.

I think those Swedes use crack as their secret ingredient.

Sorry, Anne. I'll buy you some more next time I go to IKEA.

South of the border.

2010-05-22T11:51:00.003-07:00

My trip to Mexico was everything I needed it to be. Lots of sleeping, eating, laying out by the pool or on the beach, and dancing. Worth every peso, and worth all the time I spent making five days worth of sub plans.

My new favorite place.

2010-05-09T16:09:00.004-07:00

I went to the Salt Lake City Public Library for the first time to write up sub plans (since I'll be in Mexicooooo) and I am in LOVE with the building. I can't believe I've never been in there before.

I had to take the glass elevators straight up to the 4th floor to get started on all the work, but kept stealing glances of all the people outside on the plaza every couple of minutes. The entire side of the library is made of windows so it made for some excellent people-watching. Plus there's all kinds of jamborees going on around the city -- Race for the Cure, the Anne Frank Exhibit, some Going-Green festival.

The architecture of this place is so so neat. I want to go back and explore it some more.

Anyone want to join me?

I need something out of the ordinary please.

2010-04-28T21:01:00.003-07:00

I took a step back today and really saw how much my life is completely routine. Probably like most people, but I'm serious. Same. Damn. Thing. Every. Day.

Beginning

Wake up at the same time, get ready with Court with the same banter about any wild dreams we had last night/being snappy with the cat for being too energetic that early. Eat yogurt and granola, have a cup of coffee, say goodbye and head to work.

Middle

Work with hilarious children for 6 hours reviewing and (secretly) stressing over CRTs. No down time. Any 15-minute break I'm making copies, I'm planning or typing something at the same time I'm eating my lunch (which always consists of a peanut butter and honey sandwich, some sort of fruit, and a granola bar. Always.)

Kids leave, stay till 5:30 doing more work. Go to the gym. Work out and watch the same TV shows on the TVs they provide because I'm there at the same time every evening.

End

Come home. Shower. Complain about being tired and wanting a treat with my roommates. Laugh a lot, rehash the day. Talk about how close we are/excited we are for Mexico. Spend a little stalking time on Facebook.

In bed by 9:30 with laptop keeping my legs warm, either listening to Damien Rice/Ben Harper/some other mellow music or watching a documentary (most recently, "This Emotional Life" which is all about the range of human emotion and the importance of different relationships we foster between family, friends, and lovers. I really liked it.)

Sleep. Have some wild dream. Wake up and do it all again.

That has described every day I've lived for the past 8 months since I became a grown up. Will it always be like this?

I need something exciting to happen to me.

I miss her already.

2010-04-22T20:55:00.005-07:00

Moving out on our own freshman year was scary/exciting/liberating/enlightening for all of us roommates. I was living with 4 girls I knew from high school, none of them that I was super-close to. But anyone that has moved out and lived with peers knows that you get to know your roommates in a way that is unique from all other friends you have. You get to know each other's day-to-day schedules. You see what they look like right when they wake up first thing in the morning. You see how they get dolled up to go out, what they buy at the grocery store, how long they stay in the shower, how clean their room is. You see them cry, vent, fall in love, stress out; all of this and more.

Wendy Jo York was one of those roommates, and probably my most memorable.

When I was in high school, I only knew her as one of the Silverline girls, and an acquaintance. We'd been in the same social circle, and were often in the same big groups for school dances. We small-talked at parties but never had a real conversation.

It wasn't until college when we lived together freshman, sophomore, and junior year that I really learned how amazing this girl is.

After living together I quickly realized how much the girl and I clicked. We have the same quirky sense of humor, we both analyze situations to the very core, and we agree on a lot of things. Basically, we jive.

I believe we were a part of each other's lives at a very critical time. I know from hindsight that I grew and learned more in those first 3 years of college than any other time in my life. And Wendy was there for all of it. I've seen her cry, and vice versa. I've stayed up late at night talking about very serious things with her, and I've stayed up late at night laughing extremely hard with her. I've confided in her about my insecurities and I've listened to her contemplative thoughts about life.

Wendy is an excellent friend. I remember the day it kind of hit us that I was moving out of our apartment for REAL after junior year and we realized we weren't going to live together anymore and we just started crying.

She turned out to mean so much more to me than I ever expected. Here I went 3 years in high school never really knowing her, and now she's one of the most special people in my life! It's kinda funny to think about...makes me wonder how many people I'm acquainted with right now that will emerge as something more later on in life.

Wendy left yesterday for her mission in Albuquerque, NM. I won't see her in real life again until late 2011. I will miss her very much.

Here's to you, Wanda. Julio. Sherry. Any and all other pet names I have for you.

Kids are funny.

2010-04-11T16:25:00.005-07:00

Teacher: yours truly.

Student: D, whose first language is Spanish, but can speak English.

Assignment: Arrange your tangram shapes into a picture of something, then write a story about it on the back.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

D: Mrs. Pawlowich, how do you spell pona?

Me: Pona? Do you mean pony?

D: No, pona.

Me: I'm not sure I know the word you're talking about, D.

D: You know, pona. Like 'once a pona time' !

Me: Oooohhhhh! I get it. Once UPON A time. Here, let me help you...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahaha. One of the many funny things my students say on a typical day.

The End.

Back to the grindstone.

2010-04-05T14:02:00.003-07:00

Tomorrow I head back to work after taking 6 glorious days off for Spring Break. I was hoping the weather would've been much nicer during these days off, but instead Mother Nature thought it would be funny to dump a bunch of snow and keep the days cloudy. Ha, ha. Very funny.

Truth be told, the not-so-great weather actually helped me be more productive over the break. Instead of being outside all day walking around in the sunshine and spending time in parks or going on adventures, I was forced to stay in from the blizzard and write sub plans for six different days (only a few of you truly know what a HUGE pain in the ass it is to do this). But I'm glad it got done, it's a big weight lifted off my shoulders.

So I was still able to reeeeally enjoy my time off, even if it wasn't amazing weather. I got to sleep in every day, be productive, catch up on my favorite shows, spend time with old friends, see my family, and breathe.

I really only have to get through work for another 5 weeks before I can be here

So when ^ that ^ is my motivation, I say let's get this show on the road. Bring on the next 5 weeks!

Can't get enough...

2010-04-02T13:17:00.003-07:00

...of this song. It sends Allie and me into a dancing frenzy, specializing in The Pony.

Welcome...

2010-04-01T20:52:00.003-07:00

...to the 21st Century, Laura.

In the last four months, I've made some upgrades in my life.

I went from this

to this

Then I went from this

to this

Most recently, I went from this

to this

So obviously, I can't stop there. The next step is clear. I will go from this

to this

haha.

Alice.

2010-03-23T17:58:00.003-07:00

I named her Alice.

She's great and pretty.

Still don't really know how to use it.

Anne will teach me the ways.

Perhaps I will blog more frequently?

Only time will tell.

I have no title this time.

2010-03-14T10:07:00.009-07:00

Images that make me feel happy inside.

I've gotten into skiing a little bit this season. You know, double-black diamonds and stuff. No big deal.

In 2 months I will be here with a big fat smile on my face.

After making some healthier decisions last month, I have been doing much more of this. It feels excellent.

It won't be TOO long till the last day of school...and I'll have a whole year under my belt.

Anne introduced me to a cannoli yesterday. It was magnificent.

Snuggled with Anne and caught up with Heidi and Tim.

Life is good.

Happy Day-After-Valentine's Day.

2010-02-15T11:25:00.001-07:00

Humble pie.

2010-01-14T18:58:00.003-07:00

One thing I really love about my job is how often life is put into perspective for me. A few examples:

A lot of times I'll be stressed out about how and when I'm going to cover all the material in time for CRT's (the big end-of-year test for the kiddos). I struggle with scheduling when to teach the concepts, and then spend a lot of time trying to plan engaging activities to teach those concepts (which, in turn, requires even more preparation like printing/copying/cutting/laminating).

But then I remember the home environment a lot of my students are coming from, and a lot of them are, unfortunately, very ugly. Drug-addicted parents. Parents in jail. Abuse. Gang influences at home. Custody battles. All these crazy things that I never experienced growing up. And I realize that at the end of the day, their test scores are not the most important thing in the world. If I can provide a safe, happy place for them to come for 6 hours a day, I feel all right about that. For some of my kids, school is the only positive thing in their life at the moment.

I was also recently reminded of how much I have and take for granted. While on recess duty, I asked one of my little girls why she was absent so much the week before. She explained that she and her family had to leave their apartment and move to a hotel. Her mom couldn't get her to school, so she was absent for four days. She said that the hotel won't let them have dogs, though, so they are either moving to another hotel or to the shelter. It really opened my eyes even more to how much these 8- and 9-year olds are going through every day. I realized how stable my life is, and how I don't have to worry about where I'm going to sleep at night. I have so much.

It breaks my heart when I go to high-five a student and they immediately flinch.

What's even more is that these kids come to school every day and manage to laugh and smile. Despite all the shit they've seen, been exposed to, or lived through, they show up each day and work hard for me. They have every reason in the world to be angry or defiant, and some really are. But not mine. They are such good kids and I admire those little humans more than I ever thought I would.

Μπορείτε να δοκιμάσετε πάλι:

2010-01-09T10:04:00.002-07:00

Remember this post? The ball has officially begun rolling. I'll be gone from June 15 -- July 2. It's crazy to think I'm going to be having a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Those don't come along too often.

I KNEW I had a good feeling about 2010.

Better go buy some new sun dresses.

Glee.

2010-01-02T13:31:00.002-07:00

Allie: Hey LP, have you ever seen Glee?

Me: Yeah, I've seen an episode or two before, it's pretty good.

Allie: Wanna watch season one with me?

Me: Sure.

----There go the next three days.----

I really, reeeeally like it. It's clever, funny, slightly vulgar, and delicious. Not to mention they sing excellent songs in every episode. All the actors do their own singing and dancing, which is impressive to me. I have a crush on like 3 of the characters already.

I wish Fox didn't block scenes from Glee from being on YouTube, because there are some awesome ones. Instead, just listen and enjoy.

2009 was oh-so-fine.

2009-12-31T15:07:00.002-07:00

I love when the year comes to an end. I start reflecting on everything and am sometimes boggled at how much has changed in the course of one year.

To be honest, 2009 was one of my best years. I had a LOT of fun, made some big decisions, and really feel like I grew up a lot.

I graduated college, moved to a new city, started my career, traveled a little, made some big purchases, and met a lot of new people.

I've had some big eye-opening experiences in 2009 and feel like I've gained a fresh perspective on life (a few different times).

I am currently in love with the stage of life I'm in. I've realized I'm in the prime time for becoming the person I want to be, and I have an excellent feeling about 2010. Good things are definitely in store.

Resolutions? I think resolutions are kind of dumb, but I make them anyway. I was reading my last new year's post and the resolutions I included. HA! The only one I achieved was flossing. I turned into a flossing machine this year. Woooo!

Resolutions for 2010:

*Manage my time wisely

*Make a proactive effort to be a better/more thoughtful friend

*Let things go/learn to accept things I have no control over

*Travel someplace new

Only a few this time around. Last year's list was a bit too ambitious.

Happy last day of 2009. It's been a great run.

Old school.

2009-12-25T23:58:00.008-07:00

Christmas of 2009 was a great one! Seriously. This post is dedicated to my besties, my 'Ishmaels.'

Rewind about 5 or 6 years ago. I'm roughly 17. You'd probably find me piled on Lyndsay's bed with Alyssa and Kayleigh. We are probably eating chips of some kind and laughing approximately every 8 seconds. Our conversation topics seem pretty trivial and we are shamelessly gossiping about people from school and the latest drama.

Fast forward a few years -- 3 out of the 4 of us are married (does that mean I win?). Done with college. All of us are teachers of one sort or another. Paying bills. Living on our own in all different places. You know, grown-up things.

One of my FAVORITE parts about coming home during the holidays is the fact that every year I can count on coming back together with my girls and being 17 again. We are these self-proclaimed "adults" with grown-up lives and yet we find ourselves, once again, piled on Lyndsay's bed, eating snacks, gossiping/reminiscing/laughing really hard. It is such a comfortable, nostalgic, familiar feeling. It's so funny to look back and laugh about how cool we thought we were, rehash old stories, and remember a time when our biggest stresses in life had to do with prom, short-lived relationships with silly boys, or stupid curfews. In hindsight a lot of it was so stupid, but at the time it was the biggest deal to us. It makes me wonder if I'll laugh in five more years down the road about the things I stress about these days...

What a nice feeling it is to realize that some things truly never change when everything else around me does.

A few classics:

Remember when I used to be good at blogging?

2009-12-21T11:38:00.006-07:00

Maybe I'll be better at it in 2010.

A few items of business:

1. My students are so cute and I love love love them. These are the third graders getting ready for our Holiday Singing assembly. They're wearing their rastafari headbands (complete with crepe paper dreadlocks) for their Bob Marley song (they did sooo good! I felt like a proud mama). It also makes me realize how much I love the diversity in my class and in our whole school. I feel very lucky to be a part of it.

2. Christmas Break is heeeeere at last! I'm trying to decide which days I'll use to be productive and do stuff for school, and which days I'll dedicate to doing anything OTHER than school stuff. I think today is a do-nothing day. Sitting on the couch just feels waaaay too good. We've been up to a lot of Christmas-like things.

Ice skating at the Gallivan Center

Decorating the awesome gingerbread house

Decorating our Christmas tree!

I feel like I've gotten more into Christmas this year than I have in many years. I love it. Happy holidays!

Pine needles everywhere.

2009-12-06T11:26:00.003-07:00

I don't know what it is about 2009, but I feel like this is the most "into" the Christmas season I've been in a long, long time.

The roomies and I created a Christmas-like Things To Do list back in November and we are checking them off one by one.

We bought our first Christmas tree. I felt like such an adult! We went to Smith's with the intention of getting cat food and milk, and ended up walking out with a Christmas tree, the stand, a big red bow, and some java logs for the fireplace. Having the tree up feels so homey and smells delicious! I just hope Mel doesn't freak out and destroy it. We don't have any ornaments on it yet, and the only lights we had are the weird net-like ones that are made for bushes, so it looks a little weird. But cute!

We've made a few excellent batches of peppermint bark, and have watched Elf and The Grinch several times. We've opened our chocolate advent calendars each day (compliments of Courtney's mom).

Other things on our list:

Decorate Christmas cookies

Build a gingerbread house

Ride in a horse and carriage through the streets of Salt Lake

Ice skating in the Gallivan Center

Walk through the lights in Temple Square

Make paper snowflakes

Throw an ugly-sweater Christmas party

I feel very confident in our Christmasly endeavors!

In college in Logan, my roommates and I used to have a roomie Christmas where we hung our stockings up over the fireplace, drew names for presents, and had a huge delicious breakfast. I want to continue this tradition with my new Salt Lake roommates.

Side-note: I realized recently how not having a boyfriend at this time of year is going to be strongly in my financial favor. :)

Happy Holidays.

Adventurous REM cycling.

2009-11-16T18:50:00.004-07:00

Last night I dreamed that I was getting married, but it wasn't clear as to who. I was wearing Lyndsay's wedding dress, and all the reception stuff being set up was from Kayleigh's wedding. I remember thinking, "When did I get engaged? I don't remember planning any of this."

Then it started raining and the ground got all soggy, so I went walking around on campus (in the wedding dress). I saw Holly who pointed out the fact that I was pregnant. I looked down, and sure enough, there was my big pregnant belly. Huh. Weird.

Wandered back to where the outdoor wedding was supposed to take place, where my friend Brandon from MD had driven all the way across the country to see me get married (to the mystery man). The whole wedding was supposed to take place at 1:00, but it was already 2:00 and someone told me the whole thing was called off. I saw people start taking down all the decorations and packing up to leave. I don't think I felt particularly disappointed, I was just confused the whole time.

That's all.

A good chuckle.

2009-11-12T15:28:00.003-07:00

I went home recently to take care of a few things and while I was hanging out at home for a bit, I was rummaging through my old room. I came across an old journal that I wrote in sporadically throughout college. I found a section that obviously covered kind of a hard time in my life. It included some really sad entries, emotionally-charged entries, confused entries, even a few self-loathing entries. I know it sounds awful, but it happened so I wrote about it. Some of the entries I vividly remember writing and some I completely forgot about. Either way, it was a bit of a flashback.

And here's the important part--I found myself laughing out loud as I read. I was reading some really sad things I wrote that, at the time, were really painful, and here I sat years later laughing at some of it. Not that I thought any of it was particularly humorous. I don't really know why I laughed. Maybe because I'm just so far past it, and it doesn't phase me anymore. Maybe because I was more immature about things back then. Maybe because I'm just happy now. I don't know. But it felt good.

It was a really good reminder for me. I'm reminded that I might have times where I feel like my world is crumbling around me, but that further down the road I will probably be laughing about it. If that doesn't give me a big fat sense of hope, I don't know what does.

Two completely different thoughts.

2009-10-20T18:04:00.003-07:00

Thought number one:

Earlier this evening, I dragged myself to put on my running gear and promised myself it would only be a short run, I just HAD to do something to feel active and healthy. When I stepped outside, the sun was setting and it began raining. My initial thought was, "Damn it. Rain? Seriously?" But it was too late. I already had my running shoes on. No turning back.

I started running and about a block and a half in, I was slammed with nostalgia. Having run all through high school, I was flooded with all kinds of memories from this time of year. Something about running outside in October while it was raining totally took me back to a time when I was a dedicated runner. When I was 15 pounds lighter and 5 years more innocent and naive. When I was a lot more carefree and annoying. When I thought I was on top of the world because I was a senior. When I was capable of running a consistent 7-minute mile (ha! Imagine.) When I had a lot more motivation. I still have a lot of motivation, I think it's just channeled in a different direction these days. I have more motivation for spending time with the people I truly enjoy and motivation for my job, rather than for beating my own times at races and practices.

Anyway, I just really loved it. I felt like I was completely surrounded by adjectives. The grey sky contrasted with the orange glow of the streetlights. The insane beauty of the multi-colored trees lining the streets. The way the air just felt super clean and crisp. It made me smile when my baby hairs were slicked against my forehead by sweat and raindrops. With Rhianna in my ears ("Umbrella" was all too appropriate) I conquered the next twenty blocks.

It made me feel closer to God and to nature.

It was a very good run.

Thought number two:

I really, REALLY like my job. I know I try not to post about it too much, but it's just been on my mind lately. I think it's because I'm relieved. I was worried my first two or three weeks, I'm not going to lie. I wasn't sure if I loved my job as much as I'd expected to. I was stressed out and overwhelmed.

But now that I've gotten a few more weeks under my belt, my routines are totally consistent, I'm learning how to plan faster, and I feel like I finally have a good handle on things, it has really sunk in to me that I do, in fact, love my job. Not just the job, the kids. I always knew I liked kids. But I LOVE my students. Probably in part because they are "mine." They will never have another third grade teacher (well...unless they move. But hypothetically speaking.) and to me that is so special.

I love that they make me drawings and bring me bouquets of weeds from recess because they think they're flowers.

I love when they write me notes or accidentally call me "Mom."

I love when they know the answer to problems or know concepts that I've taught them.

I love that I can sing a song for them and they have no idea how off-key I am.

I love that they find such a thrill in throwing the yellow leaves up in the air and at each other for the entire recess time.

Children really are fantastic. Like I said, I knew I always liked kids before, but I am truly amazed at some of them.

I'm just a happy girl.

The end.

Lonely.

2009-10-16T17:17:00.004-07:00

I'm bummed.

I'm sitting here.

Everyone else is here.

I'm a lone wolf all weekend. With the right amount of motivation, I might actually be really productive.

Sigh.

Just me and Mel.

I'll probably just watch this a few more times, because I can't stop laughing at it.

In the air.

2009-10-10T09:42:00.002-07:00

I love October. Love love love. It's time to put on a scarf and my boots. I'm determined to do all the Halloweeny/autumny things this year: haunted houses, carving pumpkins, hot chocolate, corn mazes, candy corn, etc. Last year I don't feel like I did anything besides go to the big Halloween party on campus. Last night we broke in the season by going to Nightmare on 13th which was pretty spooky. It's funny to me that we pay money to feel anxious and stressed out. It's not so much the scary costumes or masks that get me, I think it's the invasion of personal space by the creeps that work there. I don't like feeling that my "bubble" is not keeping intruders out. But I guess that's the point, right? To go and get scared and hold tightly to the people in front of you.

So far, so good.

I do it. Do you?

2009-09-25T10:10:00.004-07:00

It's funny how the smallest courteous gestures can make one feel a little better about what they're doing. Especially when it comes to traffic/driving. Like when I want to turn, and the pedestrian in the crosswalk puts a little extra spring in her step so that we can speed things along. Or when, at a four-way stop, I wave for someone to take their turn and go, and they wave back. Or when cars coming toward me flash their lights as a warning that there's a cop or speed-tracker coming up.

You know when you're sitting in traffic and it's all slowed down because somewhere far ahead a lane is closing? And people are sloooowly merging over into your lane? And out of the kindness of your heart, you let them in ahead of you? (Unlike other Utah drivers who ride the bumper of the person in front of them, refusing to let anyone get in front of them).

The whole situation is pretty aggravating and annoying, but it is always made better when the person that you let in gives that whimsical little wave--the Wave of Appreciation. When I see the Wave of Appreciation, I wave back and smile, glad to be acknowledged for my small good deed.

Yesterday, there was some construction on the way home from work. People were having to merge over and it was getting pretty backed up. I let three -- THREE -- different cars go ahead of me at different times I didn't get a single Wave of Appreciation. I was so pissed. How hard is it to wave?? Seriously. THEY are the jackasses that rode in the left lane all the way until it was cut off. I certainly didn't have to let you over. I could've been like everyone else and leave you stranded in the left lane looking stupid and laugh at your situation. But no, I took it upon myself to do a small act of kindness and I didn't get the simple gesture of gratitude.

Next time someone lets you over, give the Wave of Appreciation.

I need new material.

2009-09-20T10:12:00.002-07:00

I am really trying to make it a point to keep my work life separate from my home life (which I'm already struggling with because the second I come home, I rehash all the day's 3rd grade tales to my roommates). So I don't want to turn my blog into post after post about my job, because that's annoying. Unfortunately, my job has completely consumed my life. I get up at 6:30 in the a.m. to get to the school by 7:45 so I can make copies, get things prepared, etc. Then I stay after the kids leave, usually until about 5:30. Then I come home, eat something, talk to the roomies, and plan a little more. Time for bed, then back up again in the morning. C'est la vie.

Since my job is all-consuming, and always on my mind, I am going to write one big post about it just to get it out of my system.

Things on my mind:

*I've always been warned that the first year teaching will be the hardest, and they were right. I am literally planning day-by-day and making worksheets and games and activities for the first time. I already can't wait for my second year, because I'll already have this stuff ready.

*Parent-teacher conferences are weird. Usually the parents who desperately need to come so we can discuss their child's performance in school are the ones that don't show up. I used to be scared of parents (and still am, a little) but I realized the importance of having their support when it comes to teaching their child.

*The term "teacher" encompasses many other professions as well. I am a nurse who puts band-aids on scraped knees. I am a detective who can decipher bad handwriting and identify papers with no names on them. I am a mail carrier who makes sure papers and letters are sent home with students. I am a game-show host who knows all the answers and keeps track of team points--among many others.

*Having the support of other teachers is priceless. I could not keep my head above water if I didn't have the help of my team.

*As if spending 6 and a half hours with these students, 5 days a week wasn't enough--I have dreams about school and the kids several nights a week.

*I don't eat lunch. I only get 30 minutes for lunch and there's always something to be done. I can usually squeeze in an apple and maybe a granola bar.

*It is an insane amount of work to create lessons that take up 6 hours a day, THEN to create a second set of completely different lessons for the same 6 hours for the kids that are so far below grade level and can't do the first set of lessons I've prepared.

*I love "share time." I didn't realize 3rd graders have SO MANY STORIES they want to tell me all day long. So I designated the 15 minutes after lunch as "share time." Stories range from dads that have been bitten by snakes, to getting tonsils out, to little siblings' birthday parties. If only they knew how lucky they are to be in that innocent, naive stage where these are the things that are on their minds each day.

*A lot of my kids have been through more stuff at the age of 8 than I've ever been through at the age of 22.

*I refuse to respond to "teacher." My name is Miss Pawlowich. A ton of them call me Mrs., but I'll take that over "teacher" any day.

*One of my little boys made me a beaded bracelet and I wear it every day.

That's better. I promise I won't write all about the stresses of my job every time. I wish I had something a little more exciting going on! I'm not dating, engaged, or pregnant. I haven't gone on any major trips lately or gotten a new pet. I have little free time, so hopefully I can do some adventurous things worth writing about. :) Bear with me.

Now don't go and be offended...

2009-09-08T21:32:00.002-07:00

So at the end of these hectic days, I usually numb my brain for awhile by facebooking and looking at people's blogs. Yes, yes, creeper, I know. Who cares. You probably do it too.

Anyway, we all know that we like some blogs much more than others. These are my own personal criteria of what I think makes a good/bad blog. (Am I REALLY blogging about blogging right now? Pathetic).

Things I Like in a Blog

*Pictures. A picture with the post is always more enjoyable to read (I'm a hypocrite on this one today, aren't I?)

*Lists or short paragraphs. It makes it far easier for me to read and I don't take one look at it and say, "No way, too long. I'm outta here." I'm lazy.

*Good voice. I like it when the post sounds like the way the person speaks in real life.

*Interesting content. I know this one is hard to always maintain because sometimes there is nothing to write about. So if there's nothing really going on, just wait until something is. Then blog. (this one is tough sometimes)

*Frequent updates. Keep reeling me back in.

*Friend lists on the sidebar of other bloggers in the order of "most recently updated." Makes my stalking much easier and more efficient. Thank you.

Things I Don't Like in a Blog (this is the part where you can't get all offended. If you do any of the following, don't be sad. Keep your blog the way it is, we both know I'll probably still look at it anyway).

*Music that automatically plays. a)It always scares me, b)I can never find where it is to turn it off, c) I usually have my own iTunes playing which then overlaps with your song and it sounds awful, and d) I usually don't like the songs you choose anyway.

*Obnoxious amounts of pictures on the sidebar of your favorite things and wedding pictures. Just too distracting. I get it, you love your husband and children and dog.

*Half-naked "preggo belly" pictures. Some things are just better left to the imagination.

*Random HUGE, bolded, multi-colored words that don't really serve a purpose.

*Backgrounds and fonts that are difficult to read.

*Private blogs. Come on. You know YOU get disappointed when you click on a blog and can't see it because it's private. If you're willing to take the time to write about your life online, you might as well let us see it. That's what you want--readers. It seems snotty to exclude people from looking, am I right?

That's all, I guess. For now.

Happy blogging.

$weet dream$

2009-09-07T15:47:00.003-07:00

I'm coming up on my third week at my grown-up job, and I don't get a paycheck till the end of this month. (I really, really don't like only getting paid once a month. I suck at budgeting).

I'm currently running on the last of any money I saved up during the summer, crossing my fingers it will last until I get paid (story of my life).

Lately I've been daydreaming about the kinds of things I want to buy once my grown-up paychecks start coming in.

new camera - I've had mine since my 19th birthday. I definitely feel like I've gotten my use out of it. But you know it's time to upgrade when over the summer the cleaning lady saw it and put it in the toy box because she thought it was one of the kids' toys.

new bed - I've had the old poor-college-student style mattress on the floor for a bit too long now. I want to upgrade to something bigger and better. With memory foam on top.

new laptop - My computer is on the fritz like you wouldn't believe. I've already taken it in a few times in the past couple years to get it fixed, and I think it might be better to just spring for a new one.

ski stuff - This is the year, my friends. I'm re-learning how to ski! I've lived in Utah most my life and the last time I went skiing was probably when I was ten. I feel like I owe it to myself to take advantage of this place and find some reason to enjoy winter. I already have some pants, goggles, and mittens. Now I need to keep an eye out for some equipment.

new clothes - I desperately need to update my wardrobe. It's embarrassing.

Now I'll have to prioritize these things so I don't accidentally go out and try to accomplish all these things at once...

The joys of imparting wisdom.

2009-08-30T20:58:00.002-07:00

I kind of forgot that as a brand new 3rd grade teacher and starting a brand new year, I am actually getting a big bunch of 2nd graders. They are caught in the middle of elementary school. The oldest of the youngest. No longer babies, but not at the top of the totem pole. They are the collective middle child of elementary school.

Since I am used to working with independent 5th graders, sometimes I'm taken aback at the youthfulness of my students. Things like their fascination with and attention to my reading a picture book aloud, zooming in reeeeally far on things with my fancy-shmancy document reader machine, their desire to bring me a freshly drawn picture of flowers each day with my name spelled incorrectly on it.

I'm getting used to it now, but I think the moment it hit me how young my little ones really are occurred on the first day of school. As I was taking walking tour of the classroom and explicitly describing what every single thing was and what its purpose was, I'd ask them, "What questions do you have?"

Me: "Okay, boys and girls. What questions do you have about my 3 strikes system?" (H raises her hand). "Yes, H?"

H: "It smells like gingerbread in here!"

The first of many amusing stories, I'm certain.

Yikes.

2009-08-27T19:16:00.002-07:00

In the words of the great John Mayer: "'Welcome to the real world,' she said to me condescendingly."

I have been a real life teacher for four days. I am exhausted in every sense of the word, but surviving. I am blessed with only about 20 students (I say "about" because technically my class list consists of 23 students, but two kids have yet to show up.) so I better knock on wood. My school is a Title 1 school (title 1=low-income, at-risk schools) and there is a lot of turnover with students. I have only been in school for 4 days and already I've had two students move and gotten two new students. It makes it a little hard for me to get really attached to my class when I have no idea how many kids will still be there by the time Christmas rolls around. But I really believe I have the best class in the grade (again, knock on wood).

It feels just like student teaching, except I look around and there's no one else in the room but me. A little weird, but really neat.

I am actually way more nervous for teaching next week because this week has been all name games and get-to-know-you activities. Next week I actually have to start teaching real stuff and get this school year rolling.

Well that's that.

4 days down. 176 to go.

Does anyone have a brown paper bag handy?

2009-08-16T11:18:00.003-07:00

I am a teacher in 8 days.

I can't believe that it's ACTUALLY about to happen.

I still have a million things to do.

It's weird to think that what I'm going to do on Monday is what I'll be doing 25 years from now.

I hope I don't hyperventilate.

My brush with fame.

2009-08-10T15:08:00.005-07:00

Okay, I know not many of you watch as much reality TV as I do, so this probably doesn't mean much.

But for those of you that DO...

Anyone recognize this chick?

If you happened to watch MTV's The Real World: Brooklyn, you might. This girl is Baya and she's from Salt Lake City, and she was cast on The Real World a few seasons ago. My roommates and I watched the season faithfully.

On Friday night I went out with some friends and lo and behold, who do I see? Baya. Like the lame fan that I am, I got reeeally excited and asked her for a picture. She was really nice and said yes and later I chatted with her a little bit (my old roommate actually went to high school with her, so we talked about that for a minute). I was so pumped to meet someone "famous," even though none of my friends recognized her/cared.

The second reason for posting the photo below is to show you that I got a haircut and I'm excited about it. Nothing crazy. Just shorter, layers, and highlights. It was time for a change.

Here I am with my new BFF. (and some lame-o in the background)

A few items of business.

2009-08-02T08:50:00.003-07:00

1. Kayleigh got married yesterday and it was all perfect! She is my oldest friend that I am still best friends with, since we met in about 3rd or 4th grade. She is the sweetest, most selfless, kind-hearted, hilarious girl in the world and I am beyond ecstatic for her! Clay, got a beauty. The other reason I loved this wedding is because it brought my two other best friends, Lyndsay and Alyssa to Ogden to reunite with me! (Lynds hasn't jumped on the blog train yet, but don't worry, we'll get her). I have to say, we've all done a pretty good job of getting together and spending hilarious quality time together ever since we all scattered for college (and even more AFTER college). I am in love with all these lovelies.

A few good ones:

It was a good day.

2. I have found myself in a state of self-realization. I don't know where or how this all came to me, but somehow it developed over the summer. I have the overwhelming urge to just fill my life with people and things that are worth my time and energy. I only want to spend my time doing things that are helping me develop into the person I want to be. I want to stop half-assing the things I do and really start putting my heart into things. I feel like I have been sort of lazy in that sense, that I kind of just go through each day without really doing much of value.

I don't know, I think maybe I'm just going through this weird transition from being a college student into being a "grown up." It may be a small quarter-life crisis. All I know is that I don't want to wake up one day in my middle age years and think, "Why did I waste all that time? Why didn't I do great things?"

Not that I want to go conquer Everest or anything. I guess I just want to really focus on making the best of every day. I have just seen so many examples lately of qualities people display that I want to have. I have this idea in my head of the type of person I want to be and I want to start being proactive in becoming that person.

Wow, that was a little ramble, wasn't it? Hahaha I just started typing and couldn't really stop for a second. Anyway, moving on...

3. I've only thought as far as the wedding. Now that the wedding is successfully completed, I have to head back down to SLC and get in the mindset of teaching. TEACHING! My very own classroom. Ummmm....how do I do that? I am glad to not be working now, so I can dedicate all my time to getting prepared and set up. I kind of have no idea what to expect. I go in to check out my classroom and stuff tomorrow so hopefully I can get the ball rolling and not feel overwhelmed.

Okay, that was entirely way too long of a post. I'll try to refrain in the future.

Goodbye again.

2009-07-29T21:00:00.003-07:00

Dear Maryland,

It's time to say farewell to you for a second time. I have to admit, Round 2 was even better than Round 1. I am excited to be heading home, but will surely cry when I leave you. You gave me a lot more rain than I expected, and I am coming home less tan than last year, but I won't hold it against you. I'm so glad I got to visit Ocean City with friends way out on the other side of you, that was great. And thanks for letting me run and bike on your trails next to the river, that was nice. I will miss all your green trees and wildlife that roams nearby and make me a more cautious driver. I will not miss your humidity. In the morning I will be whisked away by American Airlines and look out the window as you get smaller and smaller. You have helped me grow and learn about myself more than you'll know.

Until next time!

Love, Laura

Where'd all the good people go-oo-whoa?

2009-07-28T18:08:00.007-07:00

To Washington, DC, that's where.

Today I was pleasantly surprised two separate times. First, after a long day in DC with the kids, we were exhausted and making our way back to the Metro. As we approached the doors that led us to the train, I saw that it was being held open by a man. He didn't work there, he was just another ordinary passenger. A very energetic man, beaming and telling everyone who walked through to "Have a fantastic day today, folks!" and "Remember to smile today, I don't wanna see no frowns!" and so on and so forth. I really liked that he went out of his way to try and make everyone else's day around him a little bit better.

So we board the train. The movement of the travelling almost put us to sleep. And after about 6 or 7 stops, something caught my eye. Almost hidden behind one of the kids' seats, discretely written was this:

Simple. Mysterious. Uplifting. Makes me wonder who wrote it, and why.

Anyway, I just like knowing that there are good people out there. Plus it makes me think of Jack Johnson.

Yawn.

2009-07-26T19:35:00.003-07:00

I am feeling so exhausted now that this "playing mom" stint has come to a close. (The parents came home from Chicago today which required me to be in charge 24/7 for the last four days)

When I went to Google Images and typed in "tired" for a good picture to display how I'm feeling, I laughed out loud when I saw this one. I feel just like this kitten. I hope you laugh too.

My favorite part.

2009-07-21T05:20:00.002-07:00

It's 8:20 am and I am enjoying what is sometimes my favorite part of the day--being the only one awake, drinking a cup of coffee, listening to the radio in the company of Bernie (the dog), just waiting for the little ones to wake from their slumber. I like easing into my day before it truly has to start.

Today is gloomy and rainy. I think we're going to work on our pinatas for our fiesta we will put on later this week with the other nanny kids in the neighborhood.

See you in nine days, by the way.

Losing steam.

2009-07-15T10:56:00.002-07:00

It's no secret that I have a major tendency to poop out or give up on things when they're almost done. School, projects, finals, work, etc. It's just a terrible habit I've developed and can't seem to shake. When the end is near, my motivation to continue fizzles. There is currently a light at the end of the tunnel of my nanny gig (16 days till I return home) and I feel myself losing a little bit of steam each day.

I think it's because on my last stretch of days, I have to work non-stop because the parents are leaving town to Chicago. This means that this weekend is my last little piece of free time here, because starting Monday I work all the way through till the following Wednesday.

At least it will mean some bonus dollars on my last paycheck, eh?

I better start calling for play-dates and sleepovers....

That was a good one.

2009-07-12T17:12:00.011-07:00

A good weekend, that is. It consisted of:

--A half-day of work on Friday, followed by seeing friends that night.

--Sleeping in Saturday and driving in Jess's hot rod with the top down to DC.

--Hitting up the street market for a few hours where I purchased new earrings and the best fresh peach I've ever tasted.

--Going for a run on the trails along the Potomac River.

--Taking our first night on the town in Adams Morgan...

--...Where I got the biggest piece of pizza I've ever laid eyes on (only finished about a third of it).

--Slept in today, to go lay here for a few hours.

--Followed by a 10-mile leisurely bike ride and 4-mile run with Jessica on the previously mentioned trail by the river.

Life. Is. Good.

ps. I'll be home in 18 days!

Perma-smile.

2009-07-07T19:26:00.002-07:00

I have not stopped smiling since I heard the following unexpected, magical words escape the lips of my nanny-mom:

"So Laura, we were talking about you to our friends the other night when we went out to dinner....we told them about how we're planning a two-week trip to Greece next June and how you HAVE to come with us!"

I think I'll keep smiling until June 2010.

Woof.

2009-07-01T13:47:00.006-07:00

I don't know why this has been on my mind so much lately, but I have had an overwhelming desire to get a dog. It's weird because I'm in no position to buy/maintain raising a pet at this point in time. I have no money, ample yard for a dog to run in, and I don't think our landlady even allows dogs. But I find my mind wandering a lot lately thinking of good names to name my hypothetical puppy.

I don't know when, where, or how, but I want something as cute as this

or this

and name him Tate.

Or Georgia, if it's a girl.

Or else adopt a mutt from the shelter, doesn't necessarily have to be a puppy.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Oopsy daisies.

2009-06-28T12:19:00.003-07:00

As I was settling down on the upstairs couch, ready to watch a movie on pay per view, I heard Jess's voice ring out from downstairs with the magic words no one ever wants to hear:

"LAURAAAAA! LAURA I SPILLED RED WINE ON THE CARPET!!"

So much for a relaxing night.

The next hour included panic, profanity, sweat, and scrubbing. We alternated between Googling what to do and ransacking the house for cleaning supplies.

Don't worry, we got it all out.

But she's vowed to abstain from red wine for awhile. :)

Never thought I'd see the day.

2009-06-25T16:32:00.005-07:00

I still can't get over the fact that Michael Jackson has died. Having a title like "The King of Pop" seems to indicate a sense of invincibility, yes? He was quite bizarre, and made a million headlines for things like holding babies over balconies and taking on an alienesque appearance through multiple surgeries. To this day, I'm still not sure when or how he transitioned from being black to being white. But you have to admit, the man is a legend and an icon. I really can't pick my favorite song of his, there are way too many to choose from.

I have a very vivid memory of being about 6 years old and loving the movie Free Willy. Michael Jackson did the theme song to that movie and there was a special bonus clip on the VHS tape of him performing the song onstage. This is probably my first memory of being introduced to him, and I loved it! YouTube won't let me embed the video, so you'll just have to click here to see it.

Enjoy.

Look out, life.

2009-06-22T14:15:00.003-07:00

Today in the mail I received a big packet of all my papers from the school district., including my contract. Yikes! Benefits? Insurance? 401(k)? Retirement? I don't even know what all this stuff means. August 18 is technically the first day of the rest of my life. My career. Yikes. I guess whether I like it or not, it's time to be a grown up...

Glimpse into motherhood.

2009-06-19T09:12:00.003-07:00

The whole family is gone for a few days, except for my youngest. It is strange how different taking care of him feels when I know I have him for continuous 24-hour periods, as opposed to the usual 9-hour shifts daily. I feel like such a mom (and people have spoken to me assuming I'm his mother when we go places like the park). Instead of just playing with him during the day and subconsciously knowing I'll be off the clock in a few hours, I have been involved with and responsible for all the "little extras" that I'm not usually used to when the mom is around. These include, but are not limited to:

Waking him up
Handling all discipline
Comforting him when he's sad-crying
Zoning out when he's tantrum-crying
Getting peed on
Carrying him over my shoulder up to bed since he refuses to go by himself (which resulted in the previous item listed...)
Providing undivided attention, since the other siblings aren't here
Tucking him in at night
Remembering to feed the dog
Taking him along for grocery shopping (ugh)

It's just SUCH a job having him non-stop all day and night! Especially since he's in this Chatty Chipmunk stage where he. is. constantly. talking. No joke, I don't think he goes more than 2 or three minutes without talking. Whether he's talking to me, himself, or his toys, his voice is constantly filling the air.

I love my little boy to death, and I really don't mind spending all this time with him because he is goofy and we laugh a lot. He's not a difficult child and has been in good spirits. But this brief little glimpse into what motherhood is like only reminds me that I'm so not ready to be a mom yet.

Tonight, the mom has arranged for the neighbor girl to babysit for a few hours so I can go hang out with my friends for a little bit. I am excited for the brief time off. Kudos to ALL the moms out there, you are all my hero.

Three more weekends.

2009-06-16T09:55:00.004-07:00

Until I get to go here

with her

The flights are planned, the ride has been confirmed, the hotel is booked. It will be an amazing Independence Day to say the least.

Have a seat, boys and girls.

2009-06-11T14:53:00.003-07:00

I just got off the phone with the HR lady from Granite School District after I accepted a position for teaching 3rd grade at the school where I did my student teaching! Hip hip hooray I have a job at last!! It was looking pretty grim there for a minute.

3rd grade will be quite an adventure! I am so glad I will be surrounded by teachers and a principal I am familiar with. I mean, this is the school where I literally learned how to teach a class all on my own. I was blessed with amazing cooperating teachers and I can't wait to work beside them! The school is only 15 minutes away from my house which is so great, and I CANNOT WAIT to see some of my students I worked with once again.

Too bad not a single member of my family answered their phones when I called with the good news. Come on, guys! I can already accurately predict my parents' reactions. Mother will be so relieved because she has carried this stress on her shoulders just as much as I have and she'll be so happy. Father will say that he knew I had it all along and that he's not surprised, and make some sarcastic comment about kicking me out of the nest and off his insurance.

Love them. :)

Hallelujah!

Acarophobia.

2009-06-10T06:15:00.002-07:00

Acaraphobia - fear of insects.

I don't know when I developed this, but it has been revealing itself more and more these days. I never considered myself one of those sissy girls that freaks out when she sees any type of bug. Turns out I'm just a sissy around the big, scary, juicy ones.

The other day I was watching the two younger ones at home alone when I heard a buzzing near the kitchen window. I looked around, thinking it was a fly trapped by the curtains. I pulled back the curtains to reveal the BIGGEST BEE I'VE EVER SEEN in my life. I'm talking large and in charge here, people. The kind that has fur. Bees should not have fur.

I began to freak out a little, which of course drew the attention of the kids and then the proceeded to follow suit and freak out as well. Chase was yelling at me to swat it and Garrett kept a healthy distance but couldn't look away and kept asking if we should call our neighbor, Brad to come help us. Armed with the fly swatter, I was taking baby steps to get closer and closer to the beast, and almost began dry heaving.

I knew the flimsy little fly swatter wouldn't do the job (even if I had the guts to swat at it). At best it might scare the bee, piss him off, and then all his buddies will come in and attack the house.

Long story short, I opened the nearest door that led to outside and eventually shoo-ed it outside.

I am so embarrassed. I am such a sissy.

Then, as soon as I recovered from the traumatic bee incident, I was getting ready for bed last night and saw something that looked like this scurry across my floor:

It disappeared under a closet door so I just pretended I never saw it in the first place.

Guess I'm not much of a fighter, am I?

Let's try this again.

2009-06-05T11:14:00.004-07:00

Two more interviews.

Monday and Tuesday.

5th grade and 6th grade.

Oh, did I mention they have to be over the phone because I am approximately 1,826 miles away from SLC?

This is going to be tricky.

Ruined.

2009-05-31T19:54:00.011-07:00

I was really proud of myself because I read an entire book (Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult--amazing) in less than a week of being in MD. I don't remember the last time I read a book that fast. I felt really pumped about conquering some great summer reads, one at a time, and exercising my brain this summer.

Then

Unfortunately, my mother made the mistake of showing me how I can access her Netflix account online and watch movies instantly on the computer. So far I have watched:

and

and it's only been like a day and a half. I'm having deja vu of when I started watching Lost for the first time.

There's just so many movies to browse through, and so many categories. You'd think you'd find the genres you find marked at the top of each aisle of Blockbuster, but no. You can't just look through Comedies, my friend.

Because if you click on Comedies you must check through 16 sub-categories including African American Comedies, Dark Comedies, Slapstick, Romantic Comedies, British Humor (just to name a few).

If you dare click on Drama, you then have to sift through Military Dramas, Tearjerkers, Foreign Dramas, Sports Dramas, Biographies, and Medical Dramas (among many others).

Every time I look through a list, I make a mental note of, "Oo! I always wanted to see that one. Better remember it after I watch these first three I have lined up."

Before I know it, it's grown dark outside. I had to watch The Green Mile in three different segments because it was so long and I had to take a break because my tummy was rumbling and my eyes were burning from staring at the computer screen.

I see an unhealthy addiction manifesting itself.

But hey, it could be worse. At least it's not drugs, right?

I remember now.

2009-05-28T14:27:00.003-07:00

We had a small burst of a thunderstorm today, just like the kind we had last year when I came. I absolutely love the rain here. It comes down so hard and so heavily, but it's warm outside. In Utah whenever it rains, it usually chills me to the bone. I love the blink-and-you'll-miss-it lightning streaks and the resonating cracks of thunder. Then, the best part. When the rain is still coming down, but the sun starts to peek through. Having sunny rain seems so contradictory and special. I like this place.

Lame.

2009-05-27T16:30:00.002-07:00

I feel so lame because my life is sufficiently boring at the moment. Not that I don't do anything, just that there's nothing really new or interesting. I'm back with my great 2nd family in MD, and everything is exactly as I left it. My room has that familiar sanctuary feeling that it did a year ago. I still know exactly where all the dishes are. Some random things on the counter are in the exact same place as last summer, which makes me smile. We see the same kids and parents at the local community pool. No wonder it feels like I was just here a few weeks ago!

Although, I've been here 6 days and haven't had to change a single diaper (the little one is in the midst of potty training at last, and it's been going well so far...).

I am still in the works of finding a job -- which is hard to do on the other side of the country. I am two hours ahead of everyone in Utah, plus my cell phone has no service in my house out here. So even if a principal does call the house phone number I've given, there's a good chance I might be out with the kids and not even be home to take the call. Ugh. So frustrating. There happens to be a position open at my school where I did my student teaching so I am crossing my fingers that I could have a small head-start for that one. If I could only get in touch with the principal...

I hope something exciting happens to me soon.

You win some, you lose some.

2009-05-23T19:56:00.002-07:00

Soooo I didn't get the job I interviewed for. (frowny face). But it's okay, I am still hopeful for jobs opening up this summer. Apparently you didn't cross your fingers hard enough for me (yes, I'm blaming YOU for this!). Try crossing them again!

On the bright side, my seester and bff both got jobs they interviewed for! Wahooooo! Congratulations Anna and Kayleigh on being real life teachers! You will both be amazing and I can't wait to hear about all your classroom adventures!

On another bright side, Lyndsay got married! She was the most beautiful bride in the world. She really looked like a princess. The whole day was so happy, and I laughed a lot. What a great day.

Oh yeah, I left Utah today. Back to the good old MD for the summer. To be completely honest, it feels like I was just here. Not much has changed. Today right after I got off the plane we drove over to the family friend's (ridiculously amazing) house for a barbecue. You might think hot dogs and hamburgers when you think barbecue, (which there was), but this one also presented delicious steamed crabs, potatoes, and jumbo shrimp. Man, I love the east coast.

BUT....

I miss you already.

Waiting game.

2009-05-11T08:44:00.004-07:00

After staying up too late preparing, having a restless sleep and a bad dream about sleeping through my alarm, I went to my first grown-up job interview today.

I feel pretty good about how it went. They still have two other people to interview but they should decide sometime this week.

So I wait.

Cross your fingers for me!

Intrigued beyond belief.

2009-04-27T14:29:00.002-07:00

Some of you may notice that one of my favorite blogs to visit is PostSecret. Every Sunday I check out the new ones posted, and I've looked at all the books. The secrets are sometimes funny, sometimes depressing, often times extremely cryptic.

The guy who started PostSecret (Frank Warren) came to speak at my school earlier this month. Unfortunately I wasn't able to make it, but I'm sure it was amazing.

Then, this past Sunday I was reading all the new secrets, when I came across this one.

I don't know what it means, but it makes me wish I went to the lecture, because that is a picture of my campus. This postcard was sent in by a fellow student of my school. Now my brain is alive with intrigue. Who was it? What happened in 10th grade? I wonder if I've ever walked past the person who sent this, or had a class with him/her.

I find it frustrating that there are many things in this world I'll never know the answer to.

It's been a good run.

2009-04-27T13:58:00.003-07:00

I know I already posted my farewell to college a few months back because all I had left was student teaching, but now I'm for REAL done. Whether I like it or not, that was my college experience. It went by much faster than I thought it would. I remember the thrill of living on my own for the very first time. Being able to come home at all hours of the night, buy whatever I want at the grocery store, decide I don't feel like going to class after staying up too late the night before. Hahaha, it makes me laugh to think back on those days of being 19 and thinking we were so cool. It also blows my mind to think of all the people I became acquainted with along the way. It's funny how easily you can make friends with the most unlikely of people, and lose touch with the ones you considered best friends.

I've definitely experienced/learned a lot in the last 4 years. I can only imagine what the next four years will bring me.

"That's it, you're totally done."

2009-04-23T17:15:00.002-07:00

What sweet, sweet words to my ears. My supervisor informed me today that I had everything turned in that allows me to be DONE with student teaching. She gave me an awesome evaluation and told me a few schools that will be hiring to drop my resume off. Do you realize what this means?!

No more...

--daily journal entries

--lesson plans

--getting up early

--"Teacher he butted."

--"Teacher I need a band-aid."

--"Teacher she's bein mean."

--Any other trivial, whiny complaint that begins with "Teacher..."

--germ-infested writing utensils

--tying shoes

--sharpening pencils

--using the phrase, "Show me what it looks like and sounds like to be on task/do the right thing/take a 3 second drink/line up quietly, etc."

I'm sure there's plenty more. They definitely made me earn my freedom. All I have to do is show up tomorrow...

...although I still have a sick day left to use....

Yes, please.

2009-04-20T17:06:00.002-07:00

This Week's Weather Forecast

Tuesday: 76

Wednesday: 81

Thursday: 78

Friday: 72

I'll take it!

Spring?

2009-04-13T16:53:00.008-07:00

The weather forecast says it will be rainy all week, but I hope they're lying.

Today the sun was out and as I was running through the neighborhood, I couldn't help but fall in love with spring (however short-lived it may be).

I want to be wearing something like this

Taking strolls in something like these

Riding on one of these bad boys

Drinking something that tastes like this

And rest under one of these

What IS this?!

2009-04-11T15:23:00.003-07:00

Okay, do you ever have that feeling that everyone else knows something you don't know? There is SOMETHING going on in our neighborhood that I don't understand. For some reason, people all over my neighborhood are putting piles of shit out on the curb. Is it some sort of neighborhood spring cleaning? I don't know but it looks so trashy. It all started when we saw a toilet on the curb on 6th ave. Then another on U street. Then ANOTHER on a different street! THREE TOILETS ON THE ROAD? These, along with dirty mattresses, broken furniture, piles of wood, dried out Christmas trees, garbage bags stuffed with who-knows-what, broken computers, a surfboard, trashed couches, and anything else you can imagine.

Courtney and I decided to cruise around and check out all the random piles of shit. We even gave them awards such as

Most Well-Organized Pile of Shit

Cutest Pile of Shit

Most Dangerous-Looking Pile of Shit

Most Outdoorsy-Looking Pile of Shit

The Why-Would-You-Ever-Throw-THAT-Out Pile of Shit

Here are some pictures we stopped and took before my camera died.

Here is one of the three toilets found on the side of the road.

Both of these pictures are pictures of the SAME pile of garbage in front of one house (notice the steps on the grass and the rocks). It was easily the King of all the Piles of Shit we've seen so far.

If anyone knows what this is all about, please let me know so I feel in the loop. Thank you.

So close, but yet so far.

2009-04-04T11:03:00.005-07:00

The light at the end of the tunnel. I'm beginning to see it. Isn't it beautiful?

12 school days till liberation.

At least we're committed.

2009-03-30T10:46:00.002-07:00

5 weeks ago some friends and I decided to go snowboarding for our very first time on March 29. It was the only day that everyone was available. So we stuck to our plans and when March 29 rolled around, we made sure we were fully equipped with all the clothes and gear necessary.

The day's events:

THE BEGINNING

Wake up, stop at Einstein's, listen to Anne's amazing pump-up mix on the drive

Get to Sundance, buy our lift tickets.

Oh wait, my card is being declined. Better call mom and ask for help. (thanks Bets!)

Off to the bunny hill with the attractive guy operating the toe rope.

Realize the snow is REALLY icy.

Give it a few tries and figure out my balance and center of gravity. Actually starting to improve with each run and am falling less and less. Okay, okay, this is getting fun!

THE MIDDLE

Collectively decide we're ready for the lift and to go down a green run.

SO MUCH HARDER THAN THE BUNNY HILL.

Fall on my ass like 16 times, profane words escape my lips louder each time. (Allie is doing the same).

The weather is getting pretty awful with wind and snow flurries.

Struggle my way back down to the lift, feeling different parts of my body throbbing in pain. I see Allie walking down the rest of the hill carrying her board yelling, "I'M DONE! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!"

THE END

Anne and Court go do another run while Allie and I drink hot chocolate in the lodge and whine about how our bodies hurt.

Everyone walks back to the car, we strap 3 of our snowboards up on Courtney's ski rack, and get ready to take off.

Cruising down the highway, we hear a THUD.

"Oh shit." Courtney looks in the rear view mirror and sees our snowboards fly off into the road behind us.

Stop. Turn around. Stop in the median. Let's go fetch the three snowboards.

Correction: fetch the TWO snowboards. Where's Laura's?....

After turning around and driving all the way back to the lodge and retracing our steps, we stopped on the side of the road to search.

Never found my snowboard (that I rented from the University).

Hmmmm. This sucks. A LOT.

Three cheers for trying something new, eh?

Man's best friend.

2009-03-28T09:38:00.006-07:00

We always knew our cat, Melvin ("Mel" for short 'cause she's a girl), had dog-like tendencies. Our latest discovery is that she can successfully play a game of fetch with her favorite toy--a hair tie. Proof:

Impressed? I thought so. And yes, I talk to her in that annoying voice on a pretty regular basis. She likes it.

My life in numbers.

2009-03-26T16:33:00.003-07:00

17 number of days left to teach 1st grade

2.54 dollars I had left on my Cafe Rio gift card today

10 days since I last blogged

3 average number of hours I usually spend daily spying on people through the internet, either facebooking or blogs. (sick, I know)

0 times I've been snowboarding (until this Sunday!)

37 days till I am an official college graduate

35 degrees F outside right now

3, 4, 7, and 8 my favorite cycles of America's Next Top Model

22 number of 1st graders in my student teaching class

74 number of 1st graders it FEELS like in my student teaching class

14 number of different roommates I've had in college

50 dollars I should be receiving in the mail for taking a lame survey

56 minutes it took me to complete said survey

60 minutes of cardio I plan to do at the gym now.

peace.

Vampires and Spring Break (or lack thereof)

2009-03-16T18:05:00.003-07:00

Two orders of business.

1. The other night Allie and I were bored so we decided to hit up the dollar theater. We'd seen/weren't interested in most of the movies playing that night. So what did we decide on?

Twilight.

We were both curious to see what all the hype was about since we'd hadn't read (and never plan on) reading the books. Everyone raves about it so we thought we'd see if it was really worth all the fuss.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

Thirty minutes into the movie we were looking at each other, wondering how much more there was to endure. Maybe it was the part where the vampires get mildly sparkly skin, or the part where they play super-human baseball that I began to doubt it. I don't know. Call me a hater, I guess vampires just aren't my thing.

Next!

2. At first I was pretty bummed about not being able to take Spring Break (I am required to take spring break when my elementary does, which isn't till April). All my friends in Logan went to Vegas or on a cruise or some other warm-weather, fun-filled, camera-happy adventure and I stayed here teaching gross 1st graders (seriously--the put EVERYTHING in their mouth).

BUT. I decided to find the silver lining and that is this: Since I didn't go on vacation anywhere, I don't have to suffer the depression that comes with starting school again this week. Everyone's facebook status refers to wishing they were back where they were, and how dreadful school is going to be. The magnitude of a great vacation only deepens the despair of returning back to cold weather, school routine, and midterms.

So while I'm jealous of everyone's trips, I am willing to stick it out for the next month and a half because come May, I have three--yes THREE--trips to take. First stop, Vegas. Second stop, Canada. Third stop, back to Maryland for the summer! And those vacations will be so much more relaxing and enjoyable knowing that I will be a COLLEGE GRADUATE (weirdy) and have no major responsibilities to come home to...

...I guess except having my own classroom. (hopefully).

Yikes.

Sunshine on my shoulders.

2009-03-14T13:00:00.008-07:00

I am in such a great mood right now. Here are some things that are contributing to it.

It's 54 degrees

Mel is funny.

Running weather.

Sleeping in late.

Frozen yogurt.

Boyfriend.

ANTM.

Finding flights to DC.

That's all. I hope you're in a good mood today too.

I love Tuesday.

2009-03-10T18:31:00.004-07:00

For years I've wished that a boy would give me flowers for no reason. Flowers on special occasions are so wonderful, but there's such a thoughtfulness that resides in receiving flowers on a random Tuesday just because. (I've truly used that phrase, "on a random Tuesday" to describe this scenario, it's just a coincidence that today really IS a Tuesday).

Well today is that day. :)

Last night I was grocery shopping and after debating which flavor to buy, I grabbed one of those tall cans of iced tea for the boyfriend while I was at it. I dropped by his house and he wasn't there so I just left it on his pillow with a quickly-scribbled note that said, "I don't know if you like this kind, but I thought you deserve a present. Hope you had a good day! Love, Laura." When he came home later he found it and sent me a sweet thank-you text.

Well today I came home from a long day with the first graders, walked into my room and found these

with this note

"I don't know if you like this kind but you deserve a present. Hope you had a great day! Love, Taylor"

He is my dream boy.

Wind in the face.

2009-03-05T15:51:00.007-07:00

I'm now in the 1st grade class. They are so hilarious and so cute, and the biggest handful every day! I've only been there 2 and a half days, and I've already been asked if I'm having a baby and if I'm wearing cologne. They love to give hugs, and get so excited very easily. "Guess WHAT boys and girls? I get to do SPELLING with you guys today!!" *class goes into a frenzy*

On another note, last night was the season premiere of America's Next Top Model Cycle 12! (whistle whistle cheer whistle). It's always hard to tell this early on who's going to go the farthest. But as (my own personal) tradition goes, at the end of the first episode I choose three girls I think could win the competition. Keep in mind the girls I choose are not necessarily the ones I like the best. My predictions for the cycle twelve winner are:

Teyona is pretty good. She has what Nigel referred to as "wind in the face." She will never need a facelift. Teyona has the alien-esque look that the judges love. Plus her skin is amazing.

Nijah is beautiful. Right now she's only doing okay, but I think she will improve and impress the judges. She seems nice enough and doesn't seem to be stirring up any catfights in the house. Good thing. I hate the drama.
Fo is short for Felicia. This girl is my favorite! She's not the tallest in the bunch but she has the most exotic beautiful look! She's a self-proclaimed "blaxican"--a mix between a Latina and an African American. Plus she has freckles which I love! Freckles rock.

There are a few other memorable girls, although I don't think they'll go as far.

Sandra, the arrogant African Queen from Rockville, MD (one town over from my old place in Maryland).
Kortnie, the plus-sized model that used to date Dale Earnhart, Jr.
Tahlia, a middle-sized model that is a burn surivivor (when she was 8 months old she accidentally pulled the cord of the coffee maker and it spilled hot coffee all over her).
London, the Christian street-preacher.
Allison, the girl who has the eerily large eyes and a fascination with blood.

All these plus a few others. I'm so excited!

Fun Fact--next cycle they are changing it up so all the models are going to be 5'7" or shorter! woohooooo! I always knew there are some fierce short girls out there that can bring it.

Way to reel me in for another cycle, CWTV (as if I'd ever stray....)

BS.

2009-03-01T17:08:00.006-07:00

I can say with great confidence that I have successfully mastered the art of BS-ing. Maybe I'm smart about it, maybe I'm just straight-up lucky. But I've been doing it for years and at this point it has become second nature for me to just come up with something off the top of my head and make it sound convincing. I don't want BS-ing to be confused with cheating, however. I'm not going to say I've never cheated before, and anyone that claims they haven't is a liar. Mine were all very mild misdemeanors, usually consisting of stealing a glance at whatever Kayleigh was writing on her paper. Cheating? No. I simply considered it...curiosity. There are only two times in my life when I can remember truly cheating in school. Once when I was 8, once when I was 15.

BS-ing, however, is a different story. For me, Bullshitting (for anyone not familiar with the initials) is bred from procrastination. It started when I was young. Maybe I wouldn't study for a spelling test, and just wing it and ace the test. Years later, I'd still wait till the last minute to start an assignment. Then I sit down and whip out a 3-page paper on some topic, using a thesaurus every once in awhile to make it sound more colorful, and turn it in the next morning. A few days later, I get the paper back with a great score. THIS IS THE REASON I CONTINUED. My less-than-stellar efforts were going rewarded! It was only positively reinforcing me. I once got 100% on a portfolio that included "30-minute interviews" with people I spoke with for 5 minutes. I'm not a liar, I'm just efficient with my time.

I'd like to put a positive spin on it, and say that I just like to make the most of what I have. Stretch the material I have and jazz it up a little. It's just being frugal!

Anyway, for years and years I've developed a talent that has served me well. And whenever I do get a not-so-great score on something, I know I can't truly be upset about it because I probably deserved it. Say what you will about me and this so-called "bad habit," I'll still be walking away from college with a 3.8.

So I thought that since I've procrastinated and still managed to succeed as a student, that this habit would have to disappear as a teacher. I can't possibly procrastinate my lesson plans. Wrong. Some teachers plan their entire week in one sitting, I usually plan each day's lessons the night before. I can't help myself, it's just been programmed into me. I guess I've just developed the attitude that everything will work out. Is that bad? I don't know. But I do know that I have an interview tomorrow afternoon with a school district....so I better start doing some research.

Last day.

2009-02-27T18:10:00.002-07:00

I think I learned more from them

than they learned from me.

Waaambulance.

2009-02-25T18:01:00.002-07:00

Today I cried after school when I was in the room by myself. Just a little. I think I'm just stressed and things kind of caught up, you know?

I am tired.
I was kinda grumpy with the kids today and was short with a few of them, and felt bad afterwards.
The students have been crazy this week.
I'm trying to keep up with my portfolio and stuff for interviews and it's really stressful.
I got a text this afternoon from someone I haven't heard from in months (and really don't want to talk to) which threw me off.
There was a misunderstanding about interviewing with this school district, and when I called to schedule an appointment, I was told there are no more slots available which terrifies me.
I don't know if I'm ready to be a grown up.
I am so sad to be leaving my 5th graders.
I want my own classroom so badly.
I just have a never-ending to-do list.

So I squeezed a few tears out today when everyone left and when I came home, I thought of this video where Dane Cook totally hits the nail on the head about the phenomenon of crying. I find it hilarious. Plus it mentions my name. It cusses a little. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Look at me, I'm outdoorsy.

2009-02-24T21:06:00.003-07:00

You GUYS! Guess what I did? Went snowshoeing! I have always wanted to do outdoorsy things but have never really had (or made) many opportunities to. Allie's mama's birthday was last weekend so we went with the whole clan and went snowshoeing for a day. It's a pretty good workout and look how stylish I am. I only fell like twice. You can tell from the picture my snowshoe was a little wonky. But I was a pro! Aren't you proud?

Things I realla like.

2009-02-18T18:49:00.002-07:00

-Having a boy on Valentine's Day.

-Meeting parents. (aah!)

-Seeing my students get really into cool things I teach them like the Underground Railroad.

-Getting stuff done ahead of schedule.

-The cheap sushi place near my house.

-Looking at other people's blogs.

-Building stuff with my bare hands.

-New underwear.

-When Mel (our cat) tucks her feet under her and looks like a kitty clump.

Life is good.